February 17, 2010

Oh no... Evil B%*&* Laura is back!!!

At university my friends had a name for me. I am not proud of it. It used to be Evil Bitch Laura. I have never been a people's person, if I am upset with you, you will know about it. My boss is scared of me and does not speak to me until I have a smile on my face. As I have said I am not a people's person. Now over the last 10 years or so I have improved on this trait and somehow managed to control it as best as I can.. sometimes it cannot be helped.
Now the Evil Bitch is out of the cage once again. My hormones are on red hot alert and I am ready to, and I do scream at everyone who will stand in my way. So far I have frightened and upset one gardener and a bunch of security guards... and of course my long suffering husband. One minute I am happy -go-lucky-lovely-pregnant Laura the next I am screaming-angry-on the verge of crying-pregnant Laura.
This morning I woke up and had to drive all the way to our new house which is a good 30 minutes away from the city then drive back and attend a training course, then drive back to the office which is another 30 minutes away and then back and back and back!! So on my way I call our gardener to see he is going to make it there and he mumbles something about getting there for 10, I tell him in a high pitched voice that if he does not show up on time I will hire another company that will and he will lose this job. To that he replies he will be there on time. There is fog on the way so I can hardly see. Then I get there and wait for the gardener I call him at 9.30 and he says he is on his way, 5 minutes away. Ok then he calls me tells me he is at the entrance but that the security won't let him in as they don't have a letter saying they are authorised to enter the premises. I tell him to pass on the guard to whom I scream that he has no right not to let him through as he is working for him and obviously authorised. He said something about missing this letter and I scream to him that I didn't know I needed to provide a letter and that if I knew this I would have organised it. So he then carries on and I really lose it, at which points he gives in and let him in. Finally I say. I then call D to tell him of all the hassle I am going through..of course I don't tell him, I scream at him! I am all hot and sweaty and so upset with all that is going on, as if it's the end of the world!
The gardeners get all their stuff ready, I give them a copy of the key and I am off again. On my way out I stop and have a little chat with the guards. They will allow my gardener access today and tonight we will give him our letter authorising him access! I don't mind this type pf security but not when I don't know about it and it effects my precious time. I get to my boring training late and hungry.. who needs a break!!??
I have spent the rest of the day apologising to our baby for losing my cool and potentially upsetting him/her. I am now doing meditation and to balance things out.. I feel mellow, happy and hungry! Tonight after work we want to go check the progress they are making on the garden, but this time I am bringing D and sending him first. He can be my buffer so I don't end up getting into my Evil Bitch Laura mood, three times in one day is enough for me!! All I want is a bed.. I am exhausted!!!
On a brighter note, tomorrow I go in for my weekly extra progesterone shot and tomorrow marks a week till our next u/s.. I cannot even begin to explain how I am looking forward to it! All this house stuff is keeping us super busy so if next week goes as fast as this week then it'll be here before we know it!!

1 comment:

  1. hi laura - i've been lurking on your blog for a while. congrats again on the bfp!! you're completely entitled to be b*tchy bc of everything you've gone through!! even though you got the bfp, i'm sure the anxiety hasn't gone away yet, hence the b*tchiness. hang in there and i hope you're enjoying your pregnancy so far!!