December 21, 2010
November 9, 2010
I have been a bad bad blogger but I do have the most beautiful excuse for it... Isabella! She is the light of my day and the most amazing baby anyone could wish for. She is such a happy, smiley and good baby who sleeps at night and eats with such eagerness. I couldn't ask for more. She is growing by the day and every morning whenever I go pick her up to change her and feed her she looks like she had grown over night. I call her my Little Giant.
October 24, 2010
Isabella is 9 days old today and we are so in love. Some days are tough, some days like today are easier but no matter what day we are having we are just so thankful she is in our lives and we feel so privileged to be her parents. She brightens up our lives with her smiles, her looks and her many cuddles and kisses. She sleeps in our room next to my side of the bed so it's easier to pick her up for feedings and seeing her first thing in the morning is just the most incredible feeling. She is changing by the day and is showing signs of her character emerging. She has her daddy's eyes and lips and some of his expressions. Everyday we look at her and wonder how much she has changed overnight. It's truly incredible to see how much she can change in one night. Her face is filling up and she is starting to get a little double chin which is just so cute. She has long hands and feet and we think she is going to grow taller than the both of us but then only time will tell. She feeds very well and we are both becoming good at it with times and it hurts less each day. I am so lucky to have a lot of milk and a baby eager to eat it. We are feeding her on demand at the moment and it's working very well. She wakes up between 2-4 hours to feed through the day and night and feeds for a long time until she is tired to go to sleep. I used to cut the feeding short as I notices she was getting sick afterward and being gassy but that didn't work well with Isabella and now I have gone back to the letting her feed until she needs to approach which works better for her and for us too as she is less fussy and more happy and rested afterward. It's all trial and error for now but we are getting there.
D and I are both home which is great as he is getting to know her as much as I before he has to go back to work. He is an amazing dad and even with little sleep he is still able to be calm and we both find ourselves laughing at things as they happen rather than despair. He is my rock and he always makes everything ok. I love him so much.
My parents went home yesterday and I have to say they left a big void when they did. The house seemed all silent and I miss having them around. Yesterday was worst but today I am already getting on with things and I know every day is going to get better. I loved having them around and I loved spending so much time with them after not having seen them for a whole year. My mom showed me a lot of tricks in terms of holding Isabella and what to do and what not to. I wish they lived closer by but for now I will wait till they come back for Christmas! I so wish for Isabella and I to have a similar relationship to the one my mom and I share, we truly love one another and we can spend hours together and still find loads to talk about. I miss her dearly.
Tomorrow we take Isabella for her first visit to the pediatrician. I researched which one to take her to and the one we are taking her to his a young doctor from Germany. He is relatively new in town but a lot of people are raving he is meant to be a great doctor. I cannot wait to hear what he says about Izzy's weight ( we think she is gaining not losing like all babies do after the first week to 10 days) and want to ask about her umbilical cord which is still attached. We cannot wait for it to fall off so we can give her a proper bath for now we just give a sponge bath.
I better go now as she is starting to cry for her next feed.. here are a few pics of our baby girl!
October 19, 2010
We are all home now and recovering well. I am on pain meds and antibiotics and iron but overall we are doing great. The antibiotics I take don't impact on the breastfeeding and so I am now a milk factory! I am blessed with a lot of milk and a baby who loves to feed! We are still finding our feet but we are managing well and every day seems a bit easier. I still see her as such a fragile baby and I cannot help but feeling nervous at times about accidentally hurting her. I suppose that's what moms do.. They worry!
Here are a few pics of Izzy as it seems yesterday's post didn't work out.. she is a true beauty but then I am biased!!
October 16, 2010
October 14, 2010
October 12, 2010
October 9, 2010
October 7, 2010
October 4, 2010
Went for my check up and all is ok as they don't do internal exams unless absolutely needed I don't know if I am dilated at all or not but they said everything looks great. Izzy is still head down and feels engaged so all is good. I have lost some weight probably due to the recent stomach issues which the doctor blames on a possible stomach bug or as a sign of my body readying itself for labour! Next appointment is on the 11th.. the day after my due date we shall see if we need it.. if we make it that far I intend to ask to be induced as I cannot afford to wait at home on leave and waste all my leave whilst she is still not born.. we hope this won't be necessary!
September 28, 2010
My parents are here so every day I a busy with something or the other and enjoying having them here a lot! It's been so long and now I am catching up.. hence my lack of posts! I will try to update you on the progress but I don't have much time to keep up with all your blogs...I will try do this at least once a week!!
September 23, 2010
September 22, 2010
- No matter what people tell you or what you might read in "beauty" magazines you are beautiful, just as you are. Not thinner, with different hair, taller, shorter legs.. you are perfect just as you were made. Always remember that true beauties lies within.
- Don't spend hours, days and years obsessing over every little detail of your appearance..it's time wasted. Don't get me wrong, sweetie pie, there is nothing wrong in experimenting with make up, changing hair colour, tyring new styles.. but don't let this be your main focus in life.
- Be good to your body. Your body is your biggest asset so make sure you look after it. You might hate it at times but trust me if you don't treat it with respect and love you might end up regretting it one day.
- Make friends. Invest that time you have just saved (see point number 2! ) on making friends. You don't need a lot of friends, I can count my true friends on one hand, it's not a popularity contest. You will learn and be able to differentiate between a real friend and someone who is an acquaintance. Cherish and invest in your true friends because those are the ones you will lean on for the rest of you life.
- Have lots of fun and make sure to surround yourself with people that make you laugh at least once a day.
- Embrace who you are. Your background is a diverse and interesting one and I hope you are able to get to know each and every of the 3 countries you come from. I hope you won't be intimidated by it all but that you will be able to see it as a beautiful adventure.
- Don't be afraid to speak out for what you believe in. Your views might not be the same as everybody else's but that doesn't make them less valid or interesting.
- Make mistakes. I am sure that as your mom I shouldn't tell you this, but I don't feel right leaving this out. "The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one."--Elbert Hubbard. We all make mistakes and I believe is those mistakes that make us who we are today. So don't be afraid to venture out into the world and LIVE my sweetie pie.
- I hope you find your passion in life, no matter what it is. I hope you will find that something that makes you get up in the morning with a smile.
- Travel and explore the world. There is nothing more eye opening than travelling and experiencing different and diverse cultures.
- You will fall in love many times and every time it might feel like your life won't be able to go on without that person...trust me, life does go on. Your heart will unfortunately be broken over the course of your life and you will break many in return...but life carries on and eventually you will meet that one person that you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Trust me all the others won't even compare.
- "Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do." H. Jackson Brown. If daddy and I let had the odds stacked against us get in our way, we would never have you to hold and love every day. When people tell you something is impossible, evaluate your odds, do your own research and most importantly listen to what your heart tells you is right. If you feel it's what you were meant to do, put all your heart into it and go for it.. if it fails.. wipe away the tears, collect your thoughts and if it's still worth it.. try again.
- Ultimately baby girl, remember your mom and dad love you beyond words. You are our miracle baby girl and in our eyes you will never be anything less than perfect (now, don't go on abusing this right!!!). We are always here for you no matter what happens in life, you just pick up the phone and we will be there in no time.
September 21, 2010
When I looked at my belly in the mirror I could see how much it has dropped and how far she has now moved down. I think all the extra preassure of her moving down so much is causing me to go pee more often and is also causing all these more intense BHs. At one stage I was in so much pain that D was ready to take me to the hospital. I have never seen him so freaked out and unglued. He is normally the calm one out of the two of us but it was me who was reassuring him that everything was ok and that it was probably just BHs and that if I felt them getting /closer together I would tell him and we could go. I laid down and as soon as I did that the preassure was less and I managed a good night sleep.
So what I have learnt out of this situation is that for the next 2 weeks we are going to have a lot of false alarms, that I will need to be super considerate of D because I know how freaked out he gets knowing I am in any kind of pain and that as spectator he won't know what the pain feels like or if I can handle it. I was able to reassure him that everything was ok and that it was probably a false alarm and by the time we went to bed he was back to his calm self. I think I handled yesterday pretty well, I saved us a trip to L&D and was able to recognise that it was a false alarm. Looking back and thinking I could have been close to labour I felt pretty cool and was impressed at how I managed to stay calm. It was weird but I felt so excited at the prospect that it could have been the right moment! I always thought I would have been a nervous wreck instead I felt ready for whatever was to come and excited to get things started too. We know it's a waiting game..
September 20, 2010
September 19, 2010
Given this special date I am want to do an update on how things are going now at 37 weeks! Tomorrow we have a check up at the hospital and I have a page of questions for the doctor this time, D is able to come along and I am so thankful for that.
Weight gained so far: no idea as I have not stepped on a scale since I was 33 weeks. My pregnancy clothes fit so I don't care really.
Stretch marks: still none on my belly but I have discovered some on my right upper thigh so I am now adding my miracle cream to it. I hear they will go away after so I am not too fussed.
Biggest change: my bump. It's huge and since last week it has dropped lower down. I love how it turns heads when I walk around.. it's my best and most precious asset! I love cuddling it, kissing it too (air kissing mainly.. I am not that flexible!!) and it's incredible to see Izzy's feet and elbows poking through when she is being super active which is often these days. I keep reading that babies slow down in terms of movement but not our baby girl, she keeps on kicking and turning like she has ton of room in there.
Major purchase/change in her nursery: nothing really we have everything we need now and her room is just waiting for her to come home! We have left the rocking chair downstairs in our living room for now but we will move it to her room once she is born.
Sleeping: still sleeping well despite waking up more often needing to pee a lot more. Tossing and turning has become a bit of a challenge but I am still managing.
Cravings: sweet things these days.. my hunger is back with the vengeance! The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was actually hungry. I have never once indulged that night hunger (not that it happens often) as I didn't want to make into a nightly thing but a few nights ago I really was tempted. I tend to crave ice-creams or cakes but the amount I eat is not any different than it would have been pre-pregnancy.
How is D doing: great! He cannot wait to meet his baby girl and see what she is going to be like. After having carried her with me for 9 months he is looking forward to some father-daughter time and I cannot wait to see them together. He loves going into her nursery looking into her cot bed and imagining her being there. He loves the room we have made for her and feels so proud of all the work he has put into it and how he was there choosing everything with me. He is on high labour alert and told me he keeps imagining running out of the office telling everyone I am in labour! Even though he has come up with the silliest songs for me to give birth to... one of them being "Big girls don't cry" (had me laughing so much!!)..I know he is going to be a great labour partner!!!
What I am looking forward to: the birth and meeting Isabella. I just cannot wait for that moment when labour starts and all gets going. Knowing that our baby girl could decide to be born any minute feels my life with happiness and anticipation!
What I miss: nothing at this moment. I have days when I miss the strenght of my body but as I have been lucky and can still do a lot of the things I want to do, I don't really miss it. Plus I know my body's strenght is going to come into play when I'll go into labour.
September 16, 2010
We have seen this happening to a lot of friends and we used to joke about this and now here I am in the same shoes as those irrational women! I really put it down to hormonal changes because last week I was my normal self and this week I am wreck. Last week I was still full of energy and could do everything I wanted to, this week I am more restricted in my activities and feel like I need to slow down a hell of a lot. I think this might have something to do with why I am feeling so "weird".
I haven't passed any more unusual looking discharges so I am thinking that the other day was a one off and unless I see anything happening in the next couple of days. I cannot wait for my appointment next week Monday to see how things are looking and where we stand. I heard a lot of women having internal exams to see how far along they are in terms dilation so I wonder if I'll also get one. I want to have a Group B strep exam done as I haven't had one yet and I will ask if they run NST at this stage. The doctor won't know what hit her/him!!
September 15, 2010
September 14, 2010
If you think that two marathons in less than 3 years is enough you haven't met my brother. He is now talking about doing doing an event short of a triathlon where he will cycle as well as run! I admire his determination, endurance and he leaves me wondering where he gets all this energy from!!
September 13, 2010
My mom tells me to take it easy and not do too much but I feel like there is still so much to be done before they arrive and before Izzy arrives. Her room is as good as ready but I still want to do a few things before they get here on the 26th that otherwise I won't have time to do. I bought Izzy a few sleep suits that will fit her from 3-6 months just in case she is born big and we won't have anything at home (I know crazy but had to be done!) and so I washed all of them together with new bed sheet for the guest beds that I want to iron and prepare for when my parents get here so they have two sets to last them a while! I also want to organise D's dad single bed which is as good as ready apart from the bed sheets. Tonight is ironing night. I suppose once I am done with this I should be done but knowing me, I'll find something new to keep myself busy with!!
I got inspired by reading Mare's blog about how she joined a quilting class. It got me thinking about how I would love to quilt Isabella her own quilt to keep in years to come. I told D and he thinks it's a great idea. I think I will leave this until my mom gets here. We made this wonderful quilt when I was still at school as part of my final year project. We picked the material together and spent hours on end working on it so I think it would be amazing to do something similar for my daughter. D has even said he can help with the pattern and picking the material. All I know for sure it's that I'd like it to have her birthday on it and her name. For now I'll start thinking patterns and ideas...
Last night before bedtime D and I went into Izzy's room to test the new lamp in the dark and it looks great. It gives out just enough light not to wake her up and for us to be able to check in on her. We could spend hours in there just looking at it, all the hard work to get it ready has paid off and now we can just step inside and enjoy it. We just love the overall look and how it looks just the right amount of feminine. Sometimes we go up to the crib and look, almost expecting to see Izzy laying there waiting for us.... we have practiced with teddy bears so far but we cannot wait for the real deal!!! 27 days till my due date and 5 days to full term... our baby girl is coming home soon!!
September 12, 2010
September 7, 2010
Cramps wise after much Googling I believe it's Izzy's way of letting us know she is getting ready to be cuddled, kissed and loved beyond words by us. The pains I am getting are sharp stabbing pains down in my cervix, they come and go mainly when Izzy is moving or when I have been moving around too much and they always go away after I lay down or rest on my gym ball for a while. I have not gone back to the hospital because I know these are not contractions but probably BH. Yesterday I had more a dull kind of pain in my back and leg whilst I was out shopping. I sat down for 5 minutes got up and they went. I read these kind of pains are only gonna get more intense and frequent as the days near the BIG day so I just need to toughen up and watch out for when the real contractions start! We shall see if I will manage it...
Massages.. oh I used to think of massages as in the ones you do at a spa and where you leave feeling as if you are made out of jelly. Well nowadays massages have a different connotation for me. I am talking about Pernial Massages. Yes, I took the plunge and I have been doing them for the past 2 nights. I read it's best to start at 34/35 weeks and as I couldn't bring myself to start last week, this week I had to start. I was moaning about them to D and he said "after all we have been through to get here you are moaning about a massage.. come on you are better than that!" then the following night he said "if you want to tear go ahead and skip the massages" which worked for me! The same evening I went upstairs, got a mirror to familiarise myself with the whole thing and started. I have no idea if I am doing it properly but I am really trying to follow the instructions and at the end of the day it can only help right??
It worked, D has Thursday off!!! I wish he had tomorrow off as well but you cannot have everything so at least we are having a long weekend together!! Yaaay!!!
September 6, 2010
Before I got pregnant I would suffer from a bad sensitive stomach, strong headaches, painful periods, night sweats, moodiness and the list goes on and on. On top of these annoying physical signs I was never truly happy in my own body and felt that my body had let me down by not allowing me to get pregnant. I was depressed for a good 2 years during our quest of getting pregnant and no amount of love or distractions would make it all ok. Since January 25th all of this has changed. Even though I had minor problems at the beginning of my pregnancy, I have never felt better in my life in terms of my body and also emotionally. My headaches, the bad stomach, the night sweats all of it is gone. Of course I haven't had a period in almost 9 months which has been an improvement for me! My hair is luscious and I hardly need to wash it, my nails are super strong and never break, my skin is as soft baby skin. I love my new body, love my big round belly and the bigger boobs, I don't mind the fact that I have gained more than the advised amount because I know all is well with the baby and that's what counts.
Emotionally I feel in my element; I feel happy beyond words and whenever something gets me down I think of what's going on in my body and that puts a big smile back on my face. I also thank my body for reacting to pregnancy in such an amazing way. I thank it for not letting me down and apologise to it for not trusting it could do it. It seems strange but I feel like I owed it to her after all the crap I gave her! I find myself laughing a lot more than I used to and I have a different prospective on the small things that used to annoy me or get me down. I just see them for what they are and ignore them.
I am still amazed with what's going on within my body and thank God for granting me this amazing miracle of pregnancy. When we first TTC I always assumed pregnancy was something everyone got to experience unless they chose not to and boy, was I wrong. Infertility has thought me that for some of us it's not that simple. I feel extremely blessed with this gift and it's this knowledge that it could have easily gone the other way that has never left me throughout this pregnancy. It's the fact that so many other women are still struggling to get to where I am and some other never will get here that has never allowed me to focus on the small annoyances of pregnancy. When I tell people how blessed I feel they look at me as in to say that everyone who gets pregnant is blessed. I agree but I don't necessarily know if other non IF women know how truly blessed they are to be pregnant and that it's not a gift granted to all.
I have to say I will miss being pregnant, of course I will have my baby girl in my arms and I will feel a new sense of awesomeness but for now I intend to make the most of the remaining "pregnant" time I have left.
September 5, 2010
On Friday I woke up at 8 and could not fall back to sleep. I started reading and in no time I was crying my eyes out. Now this has NEVER happened to me before. I have cried watching movies or listening to songs but reading a book, never. Well on Friday morning I was a wreck! Thank God D was asleep and that I didn't wake him up! I am reading Jane Green's latest book called The Love Verb which is beautiful written but so sad... When D woke up at around 11 I told him I had been crying all morning and that I had wet the bed and his face went all white and he shifted position to look at me to see if I was serious and then I knew he understood it as if my waters broke!! He called me a silly cow... I know I deserved it!! lol
We went for brunch at a Belgian Cafe which was ok but the food selection was very limited so we were not too impressed. Then we went home and chilled out for the rest of the afternoon, I even managed to nap for 2 hours and then we got ready to go enjoy Iftar at friends house. Iftar is when Muslim people break their fast during Ramadan and it's normally a big meal delicious meal. We met at our friends' house ready to eat for 6.30/6.45pm. As usual our friends made enough food for an army but considering the majority of the people at the table were guys, it's understandable. My friend made me Musakhkhan (not to be mistake with the Greek Moussaka), which is a traditional Palestinian dish of chicken, onions and sumac spices baked in Arabic bread. I love this dish so much I could eat it every day and it's so simple to make too. After we all digested our meal we enjoyed some traditional arabic sweets and some sweets we brought along too including a yummy pistachio based strawberry tart! Yum Yum. After we left their place, D and I and another couple went to a nearby pub to try watch the Belgium V Germany match on tv but we had no luck. We ended up chatting away until midnight and only getting home for 1am.
Yesterday we had to take D's car back to the mechanic as his horn and lights were not working properly, hopefully he will get it back today. Late in the afternoon we headed to Dubai to look at table wear and a nightstand and night lamp for Izzy's room. We went into Crate & Barrell and found so many cute things and also a new set of everyday glasses, different vases and lots of other things. It's our new favourite home store!! We stopped at Pottery Barn Kids and found this amazing lamp base that turns on with a dimmed light if you touch it once, with a medium light if you touch it twice, with a brighter light if you touch it three times and it turns off if you touch it four times. Given we were looking for a nightlight this is just perfect, we liked the pink pleated shade in pink. We also got a mobile with sea creatures that plays " You are my sunshine". We found the nightstand to put the lamp on and underneath the baby monitor but as they didn't have it in stock we'll have to go back for this Tuesday.
September 2, 2010
The people from the baby store came by and delivered the cot bed as agreed, they were actually early but they waited for me to get home from work. The cot bed is stunning, even better than how we remembered it and it fits just perfectly in the nursery. The mattress is bigger than your average mattress which got me worried none of our fitted sheets would fit, but they did! I was almost in tears when I put the fitted sheet and it fit, what a relief! We also received the toy chest which looks just incredible and is so much bigger than what D and I remember. It'll fit all of Izzy's toys (whenever we get around to buying any that is..) and will keep her room nice and tidy... yeah right who am I kidding here??!? We arranged it all last night and we both didn't want to go sleep in our room, we wanted to sleep in her nursery.. it's so calming and relaxing. Here are a few pics of the almost finished room:
I have also been working on my ultimate Top 10 Pregnancy songs, I have added these to YouTube but I am 3 short! If you have any suggestions.. I'd love to hear them!!
September 1, 2010
Today was meant to be a happy day. D got his beloved car back after waiting for 3 weeks for the mechanics to fix it and in the afternoon we are supposed to get our much awaited cot bed and toy chest. Well instead we got into an argument over D's dad visit in October. He is a very stubborn man who makes his plans and then you are supposed to change your entire schedule around him. So D tells me his dad sent his travel details and that he has already booked his flights. He has booked them so he will arrive at 2am on the 10th of October which is my due date and leave on the 16th at another crazy hour. I went nuts. It drives me nuts how he just makes his plans and does not consult D about any of it, then makes the decision to come on the 10th assuming Izzy is already born when we all know babies come when they want to come and his ticket isn't even flexible so that he can change it should things change. Also the idea of spending 6 days at home with him and my parents and for every day for him to tell Izzy to hurry up will drive me up the walls! I can talk to my parents and tell them off when they step out of line or get on my nerves but it's different with him. I told D I couldn't handle this.. he needs to change his tickets and actually book flexible ones so should things change he can make different arrangements. I swear this man has always made selfish decisions so I don't see why the fact that his first granddaughter is close to being born should change things. He probably expects her to be born when he says so just because that's how he is used to treating everyone around him, D and his family included.
D is taking care of it but in the meantime we had a huge fight and now I am upset and know that he is upset as he hate confronting his dad and now my cramps are back. What a mess of a day.. we hadn't had a fight since I got pregnant until today.. but surely enough I knew that if we had one, it would have been over something like this. I hate feeling like so upset and wound up especially whilst at work as I cannot hide my tears and people look at me as if I have lost my mind, not that I care! I am gonna listen to my meditation and try chillax myself and Izzy who seems to know things are not good and who is moving around like a crazy child! I must try do better for her sake.. I don't want to go into premature labour over something so stupid!! So here goes.. breath in... and slowly breath out..
August 31, 2010
D was baptised Greek Orthodox as his mom was. His dad was Catholic but after D's mom passed away he converted to being Greek Orthodox too, I suppose grief makes you do things you would never consider otherwise. D doesn't attend Church either unless it's Easter and he happens to be in Greece.
Now that I have painted what our family is made up of in terms of religion, I ask myself, what should Isabella be? A Catholic like me, an Orthodox Greek like her daddy or neither and for her to decide later on in life? I hate the idea of choosing one over the other purely based on the fact of which one is less intrusive on her life or less demanding of her and us because that would mean I am making a decision thinking purely about my needs.
I remember thinking it was strange how my brother didn't baptised both of his daughters but now it makes more sense to me than baptising her one way or the other just because of family preassure or the need to conform to what society deems appropriate. I would also hate for her to say I am Catholic because my mom is or Orthodox because that's what my dad is and not knowing much about her religion at all. I don't see myself talking to her what it means to be a good catholic and if she were Greek Orthodox, I wouldn't know the first thing about it. I do see myself talking about the God I believe in and I pray to and as far as I know my God and the God D believes in, are the same.
There is also the added issue of who can be godparent when baptising in one church or the other? Could my mom be a godmother in the Orthodox Church even if she is Catholic? Could D's dad be a godparent in the Catholic Church if he is Orthodox? I already know that given we were not married in the Catholic Church we cannot have the baby baptised Catholic unless we swear to raise her up as such. I don't know, the more I read the more I am put off. When talking to a friend of mine and mentioning that being Orthodox is easier as you don't have as many sacraments as in the Catholic Church therefore less obligations than if she were Catholic, she mentioned that if that was the way we went about deciding things, we might as well not make the decision but leave it open for her to decide once once she grows up. I can see her point and the more I think of it, the more I agree with her.
D and I have spoken about this in passing but we have yet to sit down and actually make a decision on the matter. I know his family is more religious than mine and that they will push for her to be baptised Orthodox but I really don't feel that family preassure should be the deciding factor in something that would have such an impact on her life. As I have said, it's a tough one...
August 30, 2010
August 29, 2010
Tomorrow morning we have our scheduled u/s, followed by a doctor's visit and I cannot wait. I keep asking Izzy if she will be kind enough to let us see her lovely face but I guess she cannot guarantee what mood she will be in! LOL I told her daddy is taking time out from work just to be able to come see her so hopefully this will do the trick and she will not be hiding behind her legs again. I am not sure D will be able to stay for the check up as I know he is limited with time out of the office so we shall wait and see.
I am preparing a list of questions to ask the doctor tomorrow, most of the queries are related to the "what ifs" of Izzy's position. I am a planner so not knowing when or if she will turn is causing some uncertainty for me. I want to ask the doctor what his course of action will be in case she does not turn and when the decision will be made for a c-section or normal delivery. I have read enough bad stories of doctors trying to move the baby and this resulting in emergency c-sections for the baby as she gets entangled in the cord, so I am not for this kind of manoeuvre. I don't intend to put Izzy's life at risk for a "natural" delivery, I'd rather go for a c-section and knowing that she is safe.
I also want to ask the doctor if Izzy's recurrent hiccups are normal. She gets them up to 4 times a day and I just wonder if this is ok. I intend to ask the technician to check her neck to make sure her cord is not around her neck or anything, I have read about this being one of the causes for recurrent hiccups and I want to make sure they rule this out. I am sure the technicians are used to mothers over analysing everything!
In other weekend news, we went to IKEA yesterday and got some super cool things for the nursery. We bought a nursing chair to put in the nursery which can rock slightly, we still need to assemble it but we are sure it's going to look so cute in there and D reassured me it's the perfect buy as it's not too expensive and most importantly it's practical.
August 26, 2010
I think back at how that 2nd cycle started and how it continued, it had doomed all over it. I remember all the injections hurting, bleeding and bruising, the agony I was in during and after my ER when I woke up in the middle of it and they had to knock me out with more drugs, D telling me how much worst it was as she couldn't access the right ovary as easily, he said that's one thing he will never forget. I remember how we were told that none of the other 6 embryos made it to freezing and how lucky we felt knowing that we had 2 amazing looking blasts to implant. Despite all the odds being against us, here we are 45 days away from welcoming our baby girl into the world. Life surely is incredible.
You would think that after 8 months of pregnancy the feeling of being blessed would kind of go away and I would spend more time on the here and now but there isn't a day that goes by that D and I don't say how lucky we are to be where we are now. We both know how things could have easily turned the other way and how we would still be trying IVF, hoping for a miracle. There are still days when I wake up thinking it has all been a dream and I touch my belly wanting to feel its roundness and when I feel it I am able to breath again. People tell me if Izzy's night kicks keep me up or bother me, the truth is they never do. Her kicks are soothing for me, I fall asleep more easily knowing she is active in there because it means all is well. When I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, it's her movements that lull me back to sleep. People (that don't know me very well!) ask me if I am now tired of being pregnant and my answer is always No way! How can you be tired of something you have been praying and hoping for so long? How can I have enough when I know this might be the only time I'll ever experience pregnancy?? I count down to meeting Izzy because she is what it's all about, but in the meantime I am cherishing every moment of this amazing journey we have been on for the last 8 months and looking forward to the last month with excitment and anticipation!
Life surely is GREAT!
August 24, 2010
I am just so thrilled that so many of the IF girls I have been praying for are now pregnant. Some of these women have been waiting for such a long time and have been through such hard times but their time has come to finally relax and enjoy this new amazing journey!! Some had experienced late pregnancy losses followed by endless IVF cycles, others TTC naturally and it just never worked until they tried IUIs and it worked. All of them have one thing in common, they are real life superwomen! I am so in awe of their strenght and determination and know with 100% surety that their babies are going to be so loved and feel so wanted.
Just at the weekend I got an email from a cycle buddy of mine from last September and the December and she is now 16 weeks pregnant. Life can truly be amazing when you least expect it. She had previously lost her baby at 5 months along due to CF and she has been doing IVF cycles with PGD ever since . Their embryos never did well after the PGD testing and so for this latest cycle the did IVF and left the tests for after the cycle. Well it worked and she is now pregnant with a healthy baby girl!! Her sheer determination of not giving up and continuing on this journey is what got her here. Saying I am happy for her does not convey how I feel.
Another dear friend got pregnant and lost her baby early in her pregnancy. She gave herself a break and then started to TTC again but it just was not working for her. Month after month she hoped it would work. She then started IUIs and was even considering moving on to IVF when her last IUI cycle worked and she is now pregnant! Life can delivery you the biggest most amazing news when you least expect it.
There are still so many girls I am praying for, women who are mothers before having given birth. If life was simple they would be the one getting pregnant whilst not trying or on the pill, not teenage girls! But life is never that simple... I keep you girls in my prayers and one day, soon enough, I hope to be posting about your GREAT news until then... remember "never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do".
August 23, 2010
I have been meaning to post an update and today seems like the perfect day for it.
Weight gained so far: 16kg which means that my weight gain has finally slowed down. At the rate at which I was going I was going to be huge come October but this is more like it. People that haven't seen me in a while keep telling me how all the weight is just on my belly... I am sure they are being kind.. my boobs are huge and my ass/thighs is the size of Brazil! But bring it on I say, I have a lifetime to lose it and go back to my old self, for now I have more important priorities to consider
Stretch marks: still not on my bump but I have seen them appear on my bum.. so now I started putting my miracle cream on my now very pampered derriere
Biggest change: my bump is getting so big these days and Isabella's movement continues to amaze me. I read that the movement is meant to slow down now but it has not for our little baby girl. She seems happy to move and toss and turn a lot and despite our best efforts to keep reminding her to be head down she flips around a lot. I can tell as our princess gets the hiccups a lot these days, and on an average day she gets it an average of 4 times, mainly after meals. So whether sometimes I feel her down below others I feel above my belly button. We shall see what the doctor tells us next week after our ultrasound (cannot wait for that
Major purchase/change in her nursery: well everything is coming together so well, yesterday we had the maintenance team come and install her sun lampshade. I put it together myself, whilst cussing out loud for choosing such a difficult lampshade but in the end it looks so so cute and it gives out this warm light that just looks right! I'll take some pics and post them on here. We are waiting for the cot bed and toys chest to arrive next week and cannot wait to finally have everything we need in the nursery. We are still planning on getting a cheap nursing chair from Ikea. It's D's idea and I have to agree it makes sense, we just don't want to spend a fortune on it so we shall see which one we get
Sleeping: I have to admit that after the first rough patch at the beginning of the month now I am sleeping so well. I still get up up to three times to use the bathroom but I am sleeping well and feel rested when I wake up. I give all the credit to my trusted body pillow.
Cravings: still none but when I told D that I like to eat sandwiches with hummus, tomatoes and cheese (that I make myself at my desk at work!) he thought that was a strange one. I am also not a fan of meat these days and stick with eating beans instead for the protein.
How is D doing: he cannot wait to see Izzy and get to have some Izzy and daddy time which I totally get as I have had 8 months and counting with mommy and Isabella's time and he needs to catch up. He wonders if she will recognise his voice and I keep reassuring him that of course she will! She will know straight away he is the one who has been showering her with kisses and hugs!! He is super proud of the fact that he was there painting and decorating her room with me and that every decision we have made on it has been a joint decision. Tonight we are going to look for some toys for Izzy as we haven't gotten an really apart from her play gym
What I am looking forward to: next week! We have the doctor's appointment on Monday and u/s, hopefully given the u/s is at 9.40 D can make it too at least just for the u/s part!! Then the baby shop we ordered the cot from said they will deliver it next week so that's going to be super exciting
What I miss: still our sex life.. I am now into that kind of mood where I have scared myself that having sex could harm the baby. I read on What to expect that it's advisable to have protected sex in the last weeks of pregnancy to avoid possible infections as one might be dilated already without knowing it. This didn't help! I will ask my doctor next week what he makes out of this.
Best moments: Isabella's reassuring kicks and movements and D's love and cuddles. There isn't one day that goes by that he doesn't tell me how beautiful I am pregnant and it surely makes me feel all loved up and sexy even now at 33 weeks pregnant!!