February 10, 2010

it's all a waiting game....

Today is the day before tomorrow. Tomorrow is THE DAY that our lives will change forever. I hope and pray that all is OK with our babies. Today might be the last time I get the chance to say babies, tomorrow there might be only one baby on the screen I will thank God for that one amazing baby, because I know he is a miracle. Part of me has grown so attached to both Jammy and Lucky that I pray that both our babies made it. I am not sitting here asking for twins, I know I am so blessed to be pregnant at all, but I have seen both my babies being conceived and then both of them being inserted back in my uterus and it was the most amazing experience of my life seen these two beams of light being inserted in me. When I pray I pray for both, when I meditate I visualise both. I suppose it's different for moms who have not done IVF so I don't expect people to "get" this but it's jut how I feel. I already mourned the loss of 6 perfectly healthy embryos who were destroyed because of unjust and cruel legislation, so I hope both our super star blasts made it.

I have had two bad night sleeps in a row. I just cannot settle. I toss and turn and toss and turn. I think part of it has to do with the fact I cannot stop thinking about tomorrow, but it also has to do with my body changing at a super fast speed. I'll give it time and I am sure things will fall into its place soon.

I have made two changes in my life already and I am only 5weeks and 4 days. First MAJOR change for me is going from wearing thongs to wearing full coverage panties!! I was reading Jenny McCarthy's book Belly Laughs and in one of the earlier chapters she refers to a similar experience and how we should prepare for this change. I was reading this and thinking: "get real, I am not going to fall into that category!". Well weeks and weeks of progesterone suppositories and pantyliner will make you change your mind!! So this weekend I went and purchased some normal panties... I got cute ones so I don't feel too bad wearing them but I have to say I don't know if I'll stick to them... only time will tell! Perhaps I should take advantage of being able to wear my thongs for now and then switch once I am too big for them. I'll update you on this saga. The second change is my belly button stud. I have always had the same one that I take out and clean but it's always the same. D got me it for our first Christmas together and it's my favourite. It's a purple heart with a little pendant attached to it. Over the last weeks my belly has grown and the pendant would get stuck in between my belly button and it's fold. Yesterday I received my new maternity belly rings. They are so cute and flexible but they are way too big for me to wear now. So I looked everywhere for my other belly rings. I found one that fits prefect and it's longer than my favourite so it fits just right.

I cannot wait to publish our baby(ies)'s first picture tomorrow!!!


  1. I can't wait to see you u/s pics!!! I am so jealous that you get to see yours already!!!!!!!

  2. Can't wait to hear all about the u/s! Good luck!

  3. Can't wait to hear about your ultrasound! At my first u/s (5 weeks) we just saw the sac, the next u/s (6 weeks) we saw the amazing heartbeat!!

  4. thank you ladies for waiting with me!!! Your messages mean so much to me..!! Melissa, you were spot on, we only saw the sack no heartbeat yet! It was amazing!!!