Last night D and I watched Away We Go for the second time. The first time we watched it I was not pregnant and I still loved the movie as it covered so many different angles of everyday life and families that you cannot help but fall in love with it. In the movie Verona, the main female character, lost both her parents whilst she was still at university and you can feel how upsetting it must be to going through something as amazing as pregnancy and then the birth of your child and not be able to share this with your parents.
At the end of the movie D was emotional and I could sense it. He lost his mom 3 years ago in November. She passed away whilst on holiday and with no prior warning that something was seriously wrong with her; she was 54 years old. D was really close to her and the shock of losing her from one day to the next hits him to this day. I know he misses their chats and the fact he could talk and be himself to her. As the time of Izzy's birth nears I feel he misses sharing stories with her and talking about what we are buying and what we still need to get, you know the kind of silly talk that does not mean much but it's good for the heart! He doesn't need to tell me how much she would have gone crazy over little Izzy, she kept on asking D when she was going to become a grandma even though at the time we were not even married yet. She would have spoilt Isabella rotten and would have been there for D's many phone calls asking about this and that. To say it's unfair that she has been robbed of this moment is an understatement. My heart aches for D and as much as I empathise I can't really understand what he is feeling. All I feel is helplessness in not being able to help D more and ultimately not being able for him to experience this moment without at the same time aching for her to be here. When you love some like that the hardest thing is watch them live this pain and not being able to take some of it away and make it better.
My brother has lived through similar feelings of helplessness with L, his fiance (they have been together 15 years but never got married until their two girls came along and they decided to get married in the summer of 2011!). L was 17 when both her mom and grandfather were killed in a car crash. It was a full frontal car crash and they were sitting in the back seat, L's aunt and uncle were in the front seats and survived the impact. I remember my whole family grieving for L's loss, she had such a tough start in life and to be robbed of the two most important people in her life was heartbreaking. When L got pregnant with their first daughter I remember my brother telling me how difficult it had been for L to go through something as amazing as this and not be able to share it with her mom. They also named partly after her mom and it's by pure coincidence that both L's mom and D's mom shared Anna/Anne as their names.
Life is incredibly unfair at times and then again it can all turn around and be amazingly happy, there is no way of knowing when one will end and the other begin and I am sure that no one would want to know either. What D and L's tragic experiences have taught me is never to take any moment for granted, never wait till tomorrow to call your loved ones, never wait a moment to tell the love of your life that he is the most amazing man, never waste a kiss, don't waste time being sad for what you might not know for sure, to be happy and thankful for what you have right now because you don't know what tomorrow holds.