Everything will be fine...

During last visit at the hospital I asked my midwife when I would be required to do my gestational diabetes test. She told me that they don't run them routinely unless you have shown to be at high risk. I remember talking to my RE about it and she told me that that they screen for it as a routine between 24 and 28 weeks, in Europe and in the US this is also the case. My soon to be sister in law had it done with both her pregnancies and it was run as a routine test. Because I tend to panic and because I would rather be safe than sorry I booked an appointment to get my gestational diabetes test done at her clinic just to make sure all is ok. So this morning I went and as I knew I was going to be there for 2 hours I thought it would be nice to see my doctor as well just for a quick chat and check up. Going back to the clinic felt like going to see family. All the nurses were looking at me and they could tell how much I had changed and complimented me on my big belly. They took my first fasting blood and urine than I was give a big glass of glucose to drink. It tasted way to sweet but one of the nurses told me just to down it and drink water after it and that helped.

The doctor arrived and she complimented me on my round bump! She said that I should not be obliged to have a visit as I am being followed by another hospital but I told her I wanted to. She asked me a few questions about the hospital to make sure I am well followed and then I had an ultrasound. It was funny because she asked me if I wanted an ultrasound as if she already knew what the answer to the question would be! Izzy looks so nice and big now and was head down which was great surprise and proof that she moves constantly still. Then she focused on her heart. She spent what felt like 10 minutes on it. I knew something was wrong because I have never seen her spend so much time on anything before. She told me she was checking to see all was ok and spent a little longer on it and also turned on the heart monitor to check her heart rhythm on the monitor. After that she took measurements of her head and thigh bone which show her to be right on schedule. She then took out portable Doppler to hear her heartbeat and listened for a good minute or more. Whilst I was there she took an internal swab to check that there are no bacteria that could cause preterm labour (we got the results straight away and all look grand.)

Once we sat down after the exam she told me that she saw Izzy’ heart going at a normal rate but that it would have irregular heartbeats every so often, I could see that too but didn’t know what to look for exactly. She said she picked that up from the monitor as well as looking at hear heart but that she could not hear the irregular heartbeats on the Doppler. I asked if I should be concerned but she said not to be because at this stage we cannot do anything anyway. Not very reassuring, what I wanted to hear was that we had no issue to worry about. Anyway she mentioned she had just been to a conference on heart monitoring in unborn babies and that she knows a more specialized doctor whom she will contact and ask his opinion on. She said that he might look at the pictures of the heart rhythm and say all is ok or might want to ask us to go in for a more in detail exam and look at hear heart. For now she told me not to panic but to stay calm that all will be ok. All I could think about was reading on another blog about someone going for a detailed heart monitoring exam because there is evidence that shows that IVF babies have more chances of experiencing heart defects.

I got another blood test and urine sample and then I called D to tell him. I managed to stay calm and sound reasonable on the phone to him so he would not worry. After that the nurse that was in the examination room with us came to sit with me as I waited for the last urine sample and blood test and did an EXCELLENT job at keeping me distracted and busy until 11.30. The last blood test hurt like a b*&$@ and because I had no veins left they had to use the same site they used for the first blood test. I said my goodbyes and left.

The minute I got in the car the crying started. It came on so strong and fast I couldn’t hold it back. The thought that something could possibly be wrong with Izzy scares me to death and the thought that we “cannot do anything about it yet” scares me even more. She is not supposed to be having problems she is our perfect little princess and nothing or nobody should ever hurt her. I called D in tears and he told me not to panic because it’s not good for me or the baby, of course he is right. The problem is that my heart does not want to listen…my heart is heavy at the mere possibility of something harming our cutie pie. He also said that maybe because the doctor just went to a conference on the subject she might be more prone to spend more time on the heart. It’s a natural reflex and thinking of it makes sense, like D said if I went to a conference on contract negotiations that focused on one particular clause I would be more inclined to look at that clause more closely from now on. I truly hope with all my heart that this is the case and that there is nothing wrong with our baby girl. I then called my mom and dad and told them and she said that it might be nothing major and to think of my brother who has a small heart defect that they only discovered after his birth but that perhaps these days with all the technology they might have picked up earlier. For now until I hear back from the doctor I hang on to these thoughts and pray that there is nothing wrong with our princess and that it’s one of those “better safe than sorry” events. As I type these thoughts she kicks my bladder as in to say: “stop the worrying mommy, I am fine!!” I have said it many times and will always believe it that our baby girl is so intelligent and knows me better than I know myself. I will try focus on the kicks and the movements and blank out the rest…. Everything will be fine.

As a small side note (I fell that as a mom I have to do EVERYTHING I can!) and note I normally don't do this, but I would really appreciate if you could keep our little Izzy in your thoughts/prayers. I do believe in the power of positive energy and prayers and I have seen it do wonders .. thanks.