The calm after the storm... or so I hope

I was so overwhelmed to see all the messages you have left after my post on Thursday. I showed these to D as well and he was just stunned. Our community is such an amazingly supportive one that cares so much and one I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Thank you for your positive thoughts and your prayers, it meant so much and I am convinced it helped.

After Thursday's events I went home and as on Friday we were organising a World Cup Football, BB-Q and beer (for those who drink) I got lost organising, planning and food shopping. D gave me a huge hug and told me not to jump to any conclusions and that all would be ok as the doctor said. I swear I envy his positive character and would give anything to be a bit more like him. On Friday I knew our clinic is closed as in the UAE Fridays are like Sundays for us, so I tried my best not to think about Izzy's heart but I focused on having a good time and making sure people were enjoying themselves. The party was a huge success and our friends loved our house, the food and the drinks. They came at 5.30pm and all left happy after midnight. I have to say I am not big on having too many people at my house all at once but I have to admit that the party was a God send. I kept myself so occupied that I didn't have time to sit and worry which as a few of you mentione, is not good for me or Izzy!

Yesterday we had a super early start of the day for a Saturday morning as we had D's dad here for the day. He was stopping over en route to visiting a friend in Indonesia for some travelling. We finally agreed on telling him about our choice of name, we had been putting it off because we know he can be difficult at times, but he loved the name and the fact that we gave Izzy's Anna as the second name after his late wife. Through the day my mind kept on thinking about the clinic and whether my doctor spoke to the specialist. We had a busy day but managed to take a few breaks here and there too and during those breaks I was so tempted to call the doctor but D said that they would have called me once they had the results.

During the evening we stopped home for a shower and a break so I sneaked upstairs and called the clinic. The doctor called me back soon after with the results. She first told me that I passed my glucose test and the internal exam for possible infections, she also told me that I still have low iron so to keep taking my supplements (need to speak to my midwife first!). Then she told me that she called the specialist doctor she knows and explained what she saw on Thursday regarding Izzy's heart, he told her that we should not be concerned or investigate things further unless Izzy's heart starts beating way above what it normally should be (above 200bpm and her current heartbeats are 154 on average). She also mentioned that she will speak to another colleague of hers in Egypt and ask for her opinion as well just to rule out any possible problem. That made me feel much better and I immediately breathed a sight of relief. She told me to ask my midwife to keep monitoring Izzy's heartbeat which she does and record at every visit and for them to check her heart again when we are going in for next ultrasound. I felt so happy I was in tears. Part of me wishes I had a doppler but then again I know I would become obsessed so I just need to trust the doctors and Isabella's constant movements as an indication that all is ok. I told D and he just smiled and said "I was not expecting any other news" he basically wanted to tell me "I told you so" but held back. I thank him for that, because he knows how hard it is for me not to get carried away.. it's within my genes! My grandma was the same and so is my dad.. we worry!

I am so blessed that all seems to be ok and that Izzy's heart just needs to be monitored but not anymore than any other baby's and that she is ok. The thought of anything harming our baby girl scared me to death in a way I have never felt before and I have been through my fair share of tragedies. I cannot describe the feeling in words but I hope and pray I don't feel this again any time soon.

*******UPDATE*******
Just when I was starting to relax here comes another cloud in the sky. My doctor called me and she said that she spoke to her colleague in Egypt who asked her a lot of questions on Izzy’s heart. She said that they normally investigate further when they see liquid around the heart or that the heart is not formed as it should be. She said that she asked about how many times the heart was going faster many times as if this had significance. She still think it’s ok and that there is nothing to worry about but given the questions of the other doctor she wants to make sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with her heart. She is therefore arranging for an appointment at a special center in Dubai where they do in detail morphology exams. Hopefully then we will be able to rule out every possibility of abnormality of her heart or possible complications. As I have said millions of times before I trust my doctor 100% so we will go for this appointment and rule out any possible problems. I told D and he sounded concerned, I don’t like it when he is concerned. My mind is racing forward and my heart is going fast.. I need to calm down. I am going to try do my meditation..