update

I have been so busy over the last couple of days I have had no time to update you all. After spending all of Sunday in some sort of pain and then went to bed early with cramps and spent all night up with what felt like contractions. I slept a total of 2 hours but the next morning I was in no pain. That morning (Monday) I had my 40 week plus 1 day check- up, I told my doctor I had that pain and she did an internal exam to check if I was dilated at all and if there was any progress and she also got me to do a CTG. The doctor told me that I was all closed up and that my cervix was 2cm and posterior, the CTG showed no signs of contractions and her heartbeat was healthy and strong. The doctor wanted to consult with her superior on what would be the next step, then I was called back in. They said that normally they don't leave IVF babies longer than a couple of days but that given all looks good they can make wait until Thursday to decide. They seem to think that given my cervix and the fact I am all closed up an induction won't work and that Isaballa might suffer as a result of trying an induction. The idea of a c-section is now more favourable than an induction but we won't know until Thursday and even if an induction is then favourable but I prefer a c-section by then it's also ok. I am now going back and forth every day for CTGs until Thursday when I will also get an internal exam to see if there has been any progress so that makes Thursday decision day. I am not sure they will do a c-section on the Thursday or whether we would have to wait until another day to book it but whatever happens we will know when Izzy will be born which is such a relief.

To say I was ok with this new development, especially considering I thought something was definitely going on, would be a lie. Yesterday I felt teary as in a weird way I felt like my body let me down a little again but I know that isn't true. My body has kept my baby girl from harm all 40 plus weeks and now the fact that it seems to be in non hurry to get ready for birth is ok. I have been keeping an open mind all 40 weeks about how delivery will come about and for me to be upset now is counterproductive.. as long as she is ok and I am ok that's all that counts. I know the doctors won't push me in any directions and have so far been so supportive of all of my decisions so I know they will respect whatever we decide on Thursday.

D is taking the day off on Thursday in case we go in and there has been progress and they decide to induce Izzy that day and either way we both feel it's important he is there so that we can make a joint decision. I know D will respect whichever choice I make but I want him by my side in this day.

I live in anticipation of Thursday but at the same time I feel relieved that hopefully by the end of the week I will be meeting my baby girl. Today I went for my CTG and Izzy was playing tricks on me. She was moving around so much that she kept on playing with the monitor so that it kept on missing her heart beat. At one stage she was so fast that she ditched the monitor that went into hyper mode and started beeping because there was no heartbeat. I got my mum to call the nurse and then they moved the monitor and in no time we found her strong heartbeat and all was good in the world again. I had to stay longer and being monitor for a longer period due to this missing heartbeat but in the end all looked great.

That's all from me now.. I will hopefully have more to update you on this coming Thursday or I will do as soon as I can if I end up delivering her Thursday.. wish us luck!