getting out of my funk

I don't know what came over me yesterday but I could not stop crying. The last time I was in tears like that was the night before I got the decisive two lines on my pregnancy test. Poor D didn't know what to do with me. It all started when I said to D that I wanted to build the wardrobe we bought from Ikea for the guest room. D was not in a mood to do it but I felt that if we didn't build it then (it had been in our living room for 4 weeks already), it would have still been there when my parents show up in a bit over a month from now. I think it had something to do with me wanting everything in its place these days.. nesting and all that! He obviously didn't want to do it and I couldn't help him as the whole thing weight more than 40kg! He took all the pieces apart and proceeded to carry bit by bit up 2 flights of stairs. Once everything was upstairs I tried to help him but I couldn't do much. I just felt so useless and helpless. Normally I am the one that builds furniture and enjoys it, this time all I could do was look at the instructions and tell D where each piece went. I felt like a big fat loser. D was super quick and he was done within an hour but I could tell he was still upset about having had to do it. That's when the crying started and for the first time since getting pregnant I longed for my pre-pregnancy body and of course the minute I thought that I felt so GUILTY for even have thought it and the crying proceeded for the rest of the afternoon. D hugged me and told me was sorry he got so upset about the wardrobe and I told him I felt useless and he tried to convince me that I did help him. Unfortunately no amounts of hugs or kisses helped me get out of my funk.

I made myself a yummy pizza and tried my best to snap out of it and when D suggested we go for a drive just to get out of the house it felt like a brilliant idea! We went to Dubai for a tea and ended up finding a super cute growth measurement thing to put on the wall to keep track of Izzy's growth. By the time we came back I was so tired but no longer upset. The funk had left me.. thank God. During this whole process and even today Isabella has been kicking my belly continuously. I mean she normally kicks and moves but between yesterday and today the kicking and movements have increased so much, I fear I have upset my little Miss or perhaps she is trying to kick the bad funk out of me! Either way.. it helps! She is such a clever girl and I love her so so much.

In other news we went to a baby shop and asked to buy baby hangers to put hang Izzy's clothes and the lady gave us loads for free which was super sweet. So now all her outfits are hanged in her wardrobe. Whilst we were in the shop D saw a super cute pair of black and white pumps that he said he would get for Izzy and we also bought her a cute little summer dress and other necessities. Her room is so close to being ready... here is to happy thoughts!