I am still here

Just a quick one.. I am still going strong and still doing well! Went for my 38 weeks check up and u/s and Izzy is doing great! She has hair and she has grown beautifully and now is 3.499kg which is about 7.7 pounds. Apparently she is going to be a very tall little girl as she is measuring way ahead of all the girls her age.. I knew her kicks were strong and her legs long but I didn't know that long! I cannot wait to meet her so bad!

My parents are here so every day I a busy with something or the other and enjoying having them here a lot! It's been so long and now I am catching up.. hence my lack of posts! I will try to update you on the progress but I don't have much time to keep up with all your blogs...I will try do this at least once a week!!

Last day at work

Today is my last day at work for the year. I am off on maternity/paid and unpaid leave until the end of January and I am super excited. I cannot believe the time for it is already here. After looking forward to this date since the middle of April, now it's here it does not feel real. I am telling everyone who cares to listen that it's indeed my last day and I have even brought miniature cupcakes to make sure everyone knows I am off. I leave with a bit of a dark cloud over my position within the company as I have no idea if my job will still be here by the end of January. My company is going through some major restructuring and no one knows how things will shape up in the coming months. I have jokingly asked if I will be returning to this office after my maternity or this is more of a "goodbye and good luck" kind of exit and no one has been able to give me a straight answer. When all these rumours first started emerging I was really worried and concerned, now I look at things with "what will be will be approach". If I come back and still have a job great, if it's not the case I will take my redundancy money and reconsider what will happen. For now my number one focus is my baby girl's arrival and nothing or no one is going to spoil that!

I think at first it's going to be strange being off for so long and yet I know once she gets here the days are just gonna fly. I won't have time to sit and think, I will have the most amazing job on earth.. Being a mommy and I cannot wait for it!

Things are proceeding well in our preparations for THE day. Last night I was so tired from work and going food shopping afterwards but I have been wanting to make a lasagna to freeze just so that if my parents get here and I am in hospital they will have something warm and home made to enjoy. So I put a chair next to my cooker and made it sitting down. I had pretty intense BH and Izzy was kicking me right on my cervix which didn't help. It's all ready and looked yummy now all that D or my mom will need to do is bake it.

My dad got the all clear from his cardiologist to travel and his heart is doing so well that he won't need to go back for another year now which is just amazing. Last time they visited us he had a small incident where his heart went into atrial fibrillation again so we had to rush him to the hospital, admittedly we overdid things and he got too tired too quickly. This time, we are going to take things at a different pace and make sure he and I both get plenty of rest. I cannot wait to have them over. D keeps hoping Izzy hangs in there fore a little longer so my parents get a chance to see me pregnant. We shall see if our little princess is willing to wait or is ready to break free.

some advice for my daughter

I have read this type of post on a few other blogs and as the weeks turn into days (18 to go today according to the ticker!) I am inspired to start one for my baby girl...

1. No matter what people tell you or what you might read in "beauty" magazines you are beautiful, just as you are. Not thinner, with different hair, taller, shorter legs.. you are perfect just as you were made. Always remember that true beauties lies within.
2. Don't spend hours, days and years obsessing over every little detail of your appearance..it's time wasted. Don't get me wrong, sweetie pie, there is nothing wrong in experimenting with make up, changing hair colour, tyring new styles.. but don't let this be your main focus in life.
3. Be good to your body. Your body is your biggest asset so make sure you look after it. You might hate it at times but trust me if you don't treat it with respect and love you might end up regretting it one day.
4. Make friends. Invest that time you have just saved (see point number 2! ) on making friends. You don't need a lot of friends, I can count my true friends on one hand, it's not a popularity contest. You will learn and be able to differentiate between a real friend and someone who is an acquaintance. Cherish and invest in your true friends because those are the ones you will lean on for the rest of you life.
5. Have lots of fun and make sure to surround yourself with people that make you laugh at least once a day.
6. Embrace who you are. Your background is a diverse and interesting one and I hope you are able to get to know each and every of the 3 countries you come from. I hope you won't be intimidated by it all but that you will be able to see it as a beautiful adventure.
7. Don't be afraid to speak out for what you believe in. Your views might not be the same as everybody else's but that doesn't make them less valid or interesting.
8. Make mistakes. I am sure that as your mom I shouldn't tell you this, but I don't feel right leaving this out. "The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one."--Elbert Hubbard. We all make mistakes and I believe is those mistakes that make us who we are today. So don't be afraid to venture out into the world and LIVE my sweetie pie.
9. I hope you find your passion in life, no matter what it is. I hope you will find that something that makes you get up in the morning with a smile.
10. Travel and explore the world. There is nothing more eye opening than travelling and experiencing different and diverse cultures.
11. You will fall in love many times and every time it might feel like your life won't be able to go on without that person...trust me, life does go on. Your heart will unfortunately be broken over the course of your life and you will break many in return...but life carries on and eventually you will meet that one person that you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Trust me all the others won't even compare.
12. "Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do." H. Jackson Brown. If daddy and I let had the odds stacked against us get in our way, we would never have you to hold and love every day. When people tell you something is impossible, evaluate your odds, do your own research and most importantly listen to what your heart tells you is right. If you feel it's what you were meant to do, put all your heart into it and go for it.. if it fails.. wipe away the tears, collect your thoughts and if it's still worth it.. try again.
13. Ultimately baby girl, remember your mom and dad love you beyond words. You are our miracle baby girl and in our eyes you will never be anything less than perfect (now, don't go on abusing this right!!!). We are always here for you no matter what happens in life, you just pick up the phone and we will be there in no time.

One eventful night

Last night was pretty uneventful until I started going to the toilet every 5 minutes to pee. I couldn't understand how I would need to pee so much. After I'd pee some liquid would come out which I couldn't figure out if it was more pee or it could be amniotic fluid all I know is that it smelled sweet which was so odd. I told D that something felt weird and he dismissed it saying it's just nothing and that my water couldn't be breaking without me losing my mucus plug. I asked him to consult Dr. Google and after 5 minutes he started to get a bit more concern, he read that I should lie down for 30 minutes then get up and see if more liquid would come out then it could well be amniotic fluid. I did that and when I got up no fluid came running down but I still needed to pee. I also got pretty intense BHs, enough for me to stop walking and wait to see if they would go.

When I looked at my belly in the mirror I could see how much it has dropped and how far she has now moved down. I think all the extra preassure of her moving down so much is causing me to go pee more often and is also causing all these more intense BHs. At one stage I was in so much pain that D was ready to take me to the hospital. I have never seen him so freaked out and unglued. He is normally the calm one out of the two of us but it was me who was reassuring him that everything was ok and that it was probably just BHs and that if I felt them getting /closer together I would tell him and we could go. I laid down and as soon as I did that the preassure was less and I managed a good night sleep.

So what I have learnt out of this situation is that for the next 2 weeks we are going to have a lot of false alarms, that I will need to be super considerate of D because I know how freaked out he gets knowing I am in any kind of pain and that as spectator he won't know what the pain feels like or if I can handle it. I was able to reassure him that everything was ok and that it was probably a false alarm and by the time we went to bed he was back to his calm self. I think I handled yesterday pretty well, I saved us a trip to L&D and was able to recognise that it was a false alarm. Looking back and thinking I could have been close to labour I felt pretty cool and was impressed at how I managed to stay calm. It was weird but I felt so excited at the prospect that it could have been the right moment! I always thought I would have been a nervous wreck instead I felt ready for whatever was to come and excited to get things started too. We know it's a waiting game..

Check-up update

I just got back from my 37 weeks check up and it all went really well. I got there early as usual but I was still able to register and then I was sent straight for my urine tests, which came back all clear and then I was asked if I wanted to see a doctor now. D was supposed to meet me there for 9.20 so I called him and told him not to bother as I was already going in. Saved him the long drive over.

I was seen by Dr. Chillaxed, he is the doctor that I was recommended to by my Miracle Doctor and I have only seen him once before. He is a Sudanese doctor in his 50s I would say and he is so laid back and relaxed that he really calms me down every time I see him. I have to say most of the doctors I see are all relaxed and so friendly. Anyway, he asked me about my birth plan and whether I had changed my mind and wanted a c-section and I said that unless it was medically needed I wouldn't want one. He asked me about the epidural as last time I said maybe I would want one and this time just to be sure, I said I defiantly want one. Why suffer through this when I can do it pain free, I am not looking for the "original birth experience" and I am not afraid to say it. My blood preassure is great, my weight has gone up by 2 pound in the last 2 months which is good, I knew my weight gain was going to slow down towards the end. I then heard the heart beating which was nice and strong and then the doctor felt my bump to see Izzy's position which is still head down. He checked my ankles for swelling but I have none and he said everything looks just great.He booked me in next week for an ultrasound to see how Miss Izzy is doing. I cannot wait to see her again but I bet we won't see much as she is going to be so squished up in there.

My parents arrive next Sunday for their month stay and I cannot wait to have them over. Part of me is a bit concerned about having them over for such a long time but then again I know I will feel more relaxed knowing they will be home with me during the day and D will also feel like there is less preassure on him too to be there in case I go into labour when he is at work. We shall see how the month goes... I am sure once Izzy gets here it's going to go by so fast! D and I keep thinking about when she will be born and he believes she will be born early October, I kept thinking she will be early but now I have a feeling she will be just on time. Time will tell!

Finally, last night I was in the garden watering the grass and as I looked up in the sky I saw a shooting star! I stood there gobsmacked as I hadn't seen one in such a long long time. I stood there trying to make the perfect wish and then I ran... well waddled, more like.. inside to tell D. I was so excited about it.. he said he must be a good sign!

Full term!!!!

We are officially 37 weeks along today and have reached that amazing milestone that signifies that everything is going to be ok. I cannot believe we are already here, when I look back it seems it was January a month ago and here we are almost in October! The idea that Izzy can be here any day is just beyond my poor pregnant brain and both D and I look at one another thinking this is just so incredible. Soon enough our lives will change forever, we are no longer going to be "just the two of us", we are going to be a family of 3! I get goosebumps just thinking of this amazing idea and cannot believe how blessed we are and have been to have come all the way here and be so close to meeting our little princess!

Given this special date I am want to do an update on how things are going now at 37 weeks! Tomorrow we have a check up at the hospital and I have a page of questions for the doctor this time, D is able to come along and I am so thankful for that.

Weight gained so far: no idea as I have not stepped on a scale since I was 33 weeks. My pregnancy clothes fit so I don't care really.

Stretch marks: still none on my belly but I have discovered some on my right upper thigh so I am now adding my miracle cream to it. I hear they will go away after so I am not too fussed.

Biggest change: my bump. It's huge and since last week it has dropped lower down. I love how it turns heads when I walk around.. it's my best and most precious asset! I love cuddling it, kissing it too (air kissing mainly.. I am not that flexible!!) and it's incredible to see Izzy's feet and elbows poking through when she is being super active which is often these days. I keep reading that babies slow down in terms of movement but not our baby girl, she keeps on kicking and turning like she has ton of room in there.

Major purchase/change in her nursery: nothing really we have everything we need now and her room is just waiting for her to come home! We have left the rocking chair downstairs in our living room for now but we will move it to her room once she is born.

Sleeping: still sleeping well despite waking up more often needing to pee a lot more. Tossing and turning has become a bit of a challenge but I am still managing.

Cravings: sweet things these days.. my hunger is back with the vengeance! The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was actually hungry. I have never once indulged that night hunger (not that it happens often) as I didn't want to make into a nightly thing but a few nights ago I really was tempted. I tend to crave ice-creams or cakes but the amount I eat is not any different than it would have been pre-pregnancy.

How is D doing: great! He cannot wait to meet his baby girl and see what she is going to be like. After having carried her with me for 9 months he is looking forward to some father-daughter time and I cannot wait to see them together. He loves going into her nursery looking into her cot bed and imagining her being there. He loves the room we have made for her and feels so proud of all the work he has put into it and how he was there choosing everything with me. He is on high labour alert and told me he keeps imagining running out of the office telling everyone I am in labour! Even though he has come up with the silliest songs for me to give birth to... one of them being "Big girls don't cry" (had me laughing so much!!)..I know he is going to be a great labour partner!!!

What I am looking forward to: the birth and meeting Isabella. I just cannot wait for that moment when labour starts and all gets going. Knowing that our baby girl could decide to be born any minute feels my life with happiness and anticipation!

What I miss: nothing at this moment. I have days when I miss the strenght of my body but as I have been lucky and can still do a lot of the things I want to do, I don't really miss it. Plus I know my body's strenght is going to come into play when I'll go into labour.

Best moments: feeling her strong movements, her kicks and bumps, seeing my belly move with her and knowing she is ok. Seeing her move like crazy whenever I talk to D on the phone or whenever he is the room and she hears his voice. It's incredible how much she loves hearing her daddy's voice!

Have I lost it?

Over the last week or so I have been especially needy, clingy and downright demanding. I don't know what's going on with me but I cannot shake these feelings. If D doesn't text or call during the day I get all annoyed and upset, if he is late from work I get in such a bad mood and start crying. It seems that his attention is never enough. Last night I was in "the mood" and I told him as much but instead of jumping to the fact I was up for it, he said he had to finish what he was doing. By the time he was done, about 15 minutes later, I was all upset and no longer in the mood. He came over and told me why I was upset and I blurted all these feelings out and the minute I did we both started laughing at how irrational and out of character I am behaving.

We have seen this happening to a lot of friends and we used to joke about this and now here I am in the same shoes as those irrational women! I really put it down to hormonal changes because last week I was my normal self and this week I am wreck. Last week I was still full of energy and could do everything I wanted to, this week I am more restricted in my activities and feel like I need to slow down a hell of a lot. I think this might have something to do with why I am feeling so "weird".

I haven't passed any more unusual looking discharges so I am thinking that the other day was a one off and unless I see anything happening in the next couple of days. I cannot wait for my appointment next week Monday to see how things are looking and where we stand. I heard a lot of women having internal exams to see how far along they are in terms dilation so I wonder if I'll also get one. I want to have a Group B strep exam done as I haven't had one yet and I will ask if they run NST at this stage. The doctor won't know what hit her/him!!

I have just taken my weekly belly shot and the contrast between last week and this week is huge! Izzy has grown so much in the last couple of weeks that if I hadn't taken the pictures I would never know!

Mucus plug or nothing?

Yesterday was a "not so hot day". We are going through a restructuring exercise at work and I have no idea if I will still have my job by the time I come back to work next year. My boss who has always helped me and supported me is worried about where he stands and the people at the top are too concerned about playing political games than actually getting on with the restructuring. I have been in the same situation since November of last year and unless things change things will still be like this by the time I am back at the end of January. So yesterday it was just negative info after negative info.

I was also super hungry, I mean REALLY hungry. I have not been this hungry since the beginning of my pregnancy where I would need a snack every hour or so.. I ate my usual snacks and meals combinations and still felt hungry within an hour of eating them. I started getting my usual back rib pain on the left and a headache just for good measures. We were supposed to meet friends at a comedy club but I was in no position to go so we cancelled.

*TMI alert*After dinner I went to the bathroom and I saw a little yellowish looking sticky thing on my pantyliner with one dot of blod in it. It looked a bit like the type of discharge you get before you ovulate but yellow and less mucus-like. I called D to have a look at it and then I googled away for some answers. I still don't know if this is part of my mucus plug or what but it's the first time I get discharge that looks different in 9 months so it could be something, right?

I have also noticed that Izzy has definitely moved down a bit as my belly touches my thighs when I am sitting down which did not last week and I am peeing a lot more these days even at night. I wake up around twice to three times a night/morning. I know that even if it's part of the mucus plug, we could still have a long way to go, but it's still exciting to know that things are moving along.

A friend of mine said that the last month feel like an overly stretched 2ww and she was spot on! I find myself looking for signs/symptoms that something might be happening and I over analyse everything just like I used to do during the 2ww. I am not anxious or apprehensive about it all and I am not in a hurry for it to happen yet, I just find this last part of pregnancy to be exciting and filled with anticipation in knowing that every day could be THE day!

Marathon runner

That's my brother for you. He started running around the same time his first daughter was born almost 4 years ago, ever since he has run the London Marathon and then last Sunday he ran the Nottingham Marathon after preparing for it in just 3 weeks. He is Superman!

If you think that two marathons in less than 3 years is enough you haven't met my brother. He is now talking about doing doing an event short of a triathlon where he will cycle as well as run! I admire his determination, endurance and he leaves me wondering where he gets all this energy from!!

Hot and cold

One minute I am fine the next I am not so great... I suppose this is what the last month of pregnancy is meant to feel like. If one moment I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to the next all I can do is drag my ass to the sofa before I pass out. Yesterday at work I had this dull pain in my lower abdomen that truly felt like BH/contractions. One minute my whole bump would be hard as a rock and then the pain would go and Izzy would move like crazy and on and on it went for about 2 hours. I walked around a lot but it would not go away. Finally by the time I went home it finally went and I was super energetic again. I did a lot of organising around the house and cooked dinner. Then D got home and went outside to finish trimming the hedges of the garden (which now looks so so good!) and I went outside to help collect the grass. I went back inside hang up the washing and by this stage I started feeling BH again. So I laid down and did nothing else for the evening until it was bed time! I suppose it's my body's way of telling me to take it easy and not push myself too hard.

My mom tells me to take it easy and not do too much but I feel like there is still so much to be done before they arrive and before Izzy arrives. Her room is as good as ready but I still want to do a few things before they get here on the 26th that otherwise I won't have time to do. I bought Izzy a few sleep suits that will fit her from 3-6 months just in case she is born big and we won't have anything at home (I know crazy but had to be done!) and so I washed all of them together with new bed sheet for the guest beds that I want to iron and prepare for when my parents get here so they have two sets to last them a while! I also want to organise D's dad single bed which is as good as ready apart from the bed sheets. Tonight is ironing night. I suppose once I am done with this I should be done but knowing me, I'll find something new to keep myself busy with!!

I got inspired by reading Mare's blog about how she joined a quilting class. It got me thinking about how I would love to quilt Isabella her own quilt to keep in years to come. I told D and he thinks it's a great idea. I think I will leave this until my mom gets here. We made this wonderful quilt when I was still at school as part of my final year project. We picked the material together and spent hours on end working on it so I think it would be amazing to do something similar for my daughter. D has even said he can help with the pattern and picking the material. All I know for sure it's that I'd like it to have her birthday on it and her name. For now I'll start thinking patterns and ideas...

Last night before bedtime D and I went into Izzy's room to test the new lamp in the dark and it looks great. It gives out just enough light not to wake her up and for us to be able to check in on her. We could spend hours in there just looking at it, all the hard work to get it ready has paid off and now we can just step inside and enjoy it. We just love the overall look and how it looks just the right amount of feminine. Sometimes we go up to the crib and look, almost expecting to see Izzy laying there waiting for us.... we have practiced with teddy bears so far but we cannot wait for the real deal!!! 27 days till my due date and 5 days to full term... our baby girl is coming home soon!!

36 weeks

I am 36 weeks today and officially in the 9th month!! I cannot believe it we are already here, time is just flying by at the moment. We are one week away from being "full term" so every day we are waiting to see if today is The day. I know it's still early but I have a feeling Izzy pie wants to be born soon. I feel her moving a lot these days and struggling to get into a comfy position. Yesterday and today have been non stop of activity in there. She tosses to one side then decides to move to the opposite and it's just non stop. I think it's because she is growing so fast now and the space in there must be close to none and as she is like mommy she cannot stay still but struggles to move as freely as before. Yesterday my belly looked like I had just eaten a huge peanut! Today it's a bit better but not by much. It's not uncomfortable but at times I feel like she is going to stretch her way out of there Alien style... Otherwise I am doing good. I do get some cramps here and there that feel like period pain but they go away if I change position or sit down for a while. I have started experiencing pain in the back of my thigh which after much googling I have discovered could be sciatica. It's only painful if I have been sitting down for too long.

We had a lovely long weekend which was much needed!! On Wednesday I went and did some major shopping for when my parents arrive in 2 weeks and for D's arrival on the 10th. I bought new sheets and house plants, tablecloths and other useful things for around the house. I also finished putting together Izzy's room in terms of her little side table, lamp and baby monitor! All is set for the big arrival!!

In the evening we met up with a friend of ours and we got home at 1am! This friend of ours F, got us this cute little pendant for Izzy which has her name in Arabic engraved in it. So so cute!

Thursday D was at home so we had a relaxing brunch then chilled out for the rest of the day, then we went out for dinner at this new Greek restaurant with friends! The food was amazing and the company was great! Friday we took it easy and yesterday D mowed the lawn and trimmed all the hedges in our garden which now looks so much better for it. Then we went out for dinner in this cute little place that does nothing but Hot Pot. I have never had it before but D has been going on about it for months so last night we finally went. It was great fun for such simple food. I love the concept and enjoyed my food so much!! You basically chose a type of soup base then you pick your ingredients and you make your own soup/Hot Pot. It's really a lot of fun and healthy too!

Now I am back at work for the next 2 weeks until my maternity leave kicks in and I cannot wait for it. I really don't want to go into labour at work...

holiday mood, cramps and massages

Today is my last working day until next Sunday and I am super happy! I would be happier if D's company would decide to announce his leave and be done with it too rather than keep us all waiting! We are not going anywhere but it would be nice to have some relaxing time together rather than me having days off now and D being off on Sunday... fingers crossed! Every public holiday has fallen either on a Friday or a Saturday so we have had no extra paid holidays this year which sucks especially as we have both being saving days for the BIG event! I have 31 days of leave and D has 26 which considering there are only 3 months left of the year it's an achievement! I start my maternity leave on the 26th of September and I cannot wait!!

Cramps wise after much Googling I believe it's Izzy's way of letting us know she is getting ready to be cuddled, kissed and loved beyond words by us. The pains I am getting are sharp stabbing pains down in my cervix, they come and go mainly when Izzy is moving or when I have been moving around too much and they always go away after I lay down or rest on my gym ball for a while. I have not gone back to the hospital because I know these are not contractions but probably BH. Yesterday I had more a dull kind of pain in my back and leg whilst I was out shopping. I sat down for 5 minutes got up and they went. I read these kind of pains are only gonna get more intense and frequent as the days near the BIG day so I just need to toughen up and watch out for when the real contractions start! We shall see if I will manage it...

Massages.. oh I used to think of massages as in the ones you do at a spa and where you leave feeling as if you are made out of jelly. Well nowadays massages have a different connotation for me. I am talking about Pernial Massages. Yes, I took the plunge and I have been doing them for the past 2 nights. I read it's best to start at 34/35 weeks and as I couldn't bring myself to start last week, this week I had to start. I was moaning about them to D and he said "after all we have been through to get here you are moaning about a massage.. come on you are better than that!" then the following night he said "if you want to tear go ahead and skip the massages" which worked for me! The same evening I went upstairs, got a mirror to familiarise myself with the whole thing and started. I have no idea if I am doing it properly but I am really trying to follow the instructions and at the end of the day it can only help right??

*****update*****

It worked, D has Thursday off!!! I wish he had tomorrow off as well but you cannot have everything so at least we are having a long weekend together!! Yaaay!!!

Ode to pregnancy

Last night D touched my belly and said how full and hard it feels and asked me if I have had it with pregnancy and wish Izzy could just be born already. My instinctive reaction was "no way". The fact of the matter is that I have and still am loving every minute of pregnancy, I know it has a lot to do with how hard we tried to get pregnant and what we had to do to get pregnant but part of it is just me loving every minute of this experience and feeling great too.

Before I got pregnant I would suffer from a bad sensitive stomach, strong headaches, painful periods, night sweats, moodiness and the list goes on and on. On top of these annoying physical signs I was never truly happy in my own body and felt that my body had let me down by not allowing me to get pregnant. I was depressed for a good 2 years during our quest of getting pregnant and no amount of love or distractions would make it all ok. Since January 25th all of this has changed. Even though I had minor problems at the beginning of my pregnancy, I have never felt better in my life in terms of my body and also emotionally. My headaches, the bad stomach, the night sweats all of it is gone. Of course I haven't had a period in almost 9 months which has been an improvement for me! My hair is luscious and I hardly need to wash it, my nails are super strong and never break, my skin is as soft baby skin. I love my new body, love my big round belly and the bigger boobs, I don't mind the fact that I have gained more than the advised amount because I know all is well with the baby and that's what counts.

Emotionally I feel in my element; I feel happy beyond words and whenever something gets me down I think of what's going on in my body and that puts a big smile back on my face. I also thank my body for reacting to pregnancy in such an amazing way. I thank it for not letting me down and apologise to it for not trusting it could do it. It seems strange but I feel like I owed it to her after all the crap I gave her! I find myself laughing a lot more than I used to and I have a different prospective on the small things that used to annoy me or get me down. I just see them for what they are and ignore them.

I am still amazed with what's going on within my body and thank God for granting me this amazing miracle of pregnancy. When we first TTC I always assumed pregnancy was something everyone got to experience unless they chose not to and boy, was I wrong. Infertility has thought me that for some of us it's not that simple. I feel extremely blessed with this gift and it's this knowledge that it could have easily gone the other way that has never left me throughout this pregnancy. It's the fact that so many other women are still struggling to get to where I am and some other never will get here that has never allowed me to focus on the small annoyances of pregnancy. When I tell people how blessed I feel they look at me as in to say that everyone who gets pregnant is blessed. I agree but I don't necessarily know if other non IF women know how truly blessed they are to be pregnant and that it's not a gift granted to all.

I have to say I will miss being pregnant, of course I will have my baby girl in my arms and I will feel a new sense of awesomeness but for now I intend to make the most of the remaining "pregnant" time I have left.

a good weekend

As the working week start again in the UAE (we work Sunday through to Thursday, then have Friday and Saturday off) I am left wanting more weekend as the one just gone was a blast! Thursday after work D went to ACE to get a new garden trimmer and then to Toys R Us to get a singing octopus for Izzy (it's super cute, colourful and it makes music!)

In the meantime I went to get my eyebrows threaded followed by a blow dry. I love going to this spa as everyone fusses over my belly and asks me 1001 questions about how I am feeling and how Isabella is doing. I have really started enjoying going since getting pregnant which is strange but D seems to think it's Izzy's influence on me.. I wonder if he is right and she is going to be a girly girl! HEHE

On Friday I woke up at 8 and could not fall back to sleep. I started reading and in no time I was crying my eyes out. Now this has NEVER happened to me before. I have cried watching movies or listening to songs but reading a book, never. Well on Friday morning I was a wreck! Thank God D was asleep and that I didn't wake him up! I am reading Jane Green's latest book called The Love Verb which is beautiful written but so sad... When D woke up at around 11 I told him I had been crying all morning and that I had wet the bed and his face went all white and he shifted position to look at me to see if I was serious and then I knew he understood it as if my waters broke!! He called me a silly cow... I know I deserved it!! lol

We went for brunch at a Belgian Cafe which was ok but the food selection was very limited so we were not too impressed. Then we went home and chilled out for the rest of the afternoon, I even managed to nap for 2 hours and then we got ready to go enjoy Iftar at friends house. Iftar is when Muslim people break their fast during Ramadan and it's normally a big meal delicious meal. We met at our friends' house ready to eat for 6.30/6.45pm. As usual our friends made enough food for an army but considering the majority of the people at the table were guys, it's understandable. My friend made me Musakhkhan (not to be mistake with the Greek Moussaka), which is a traditional Palestinian dish of chicken, onions and sumac spices baked in Arabic bread. I love this dish so much I could eat it every day and it's so simple to make too. After we all digested our meal we enjoyed some traditional arabic sweets and some sweets we brought along too including a yummy pistachio based strawberry tart! Yum Yum. After we left their place, D and I and another couple went to a nearby pub to try watch the Belgium V Germany match on tv but we had no luck. We ended up chatting away until midnight and only getting home for 1am.

Yesterday we had to take D's car back to the mechanic as his horn and lights were not working properly, hopefully he will get it back today. Late in the afternoon we headed to Dubai to look at table wear and a nightstand and night lamp for Izzy's room. We went into Crate & Barrell and found so many cute things and also a new set of everyday glasses, different vases and lots of other things. It's our new favourite home store!! We stopped at Pottery Barn Kids and found this amazing lamp base that turns on with a dimmed light if you touch it once, with a medium light if you touch it twice, with a brighter light if you touch it three times and it turns off if you touch it four times. Given we were looking for a nightlight this is just perfect, we liked the pink pleated shade in pink. We also got a mobile with sea creatures that plays " You are my sunshine". We found the nightstand to put the lamp on and underneath the baby monitor but as they didn't have it in stock we'll have to go back for this Tuesday.

After we were done shopping we went to meet up with a friend of ours who lives in Dubai and her new boyfriend. It was the first time we met him and we were really impressed with him. He did not fall into the typical guys she goes for and seemed to be genuine with us without trying to impress us. He makes her very happy and has been treating her like a queen so that has to be a good sign! She deserves to be happy and be with someone who respects her and treats her properly so we hope for her that he is the one! We shall wait and see but for now we are happy all around!

We made it home for bedtime... tired but happy with such a great weekend! Now the new started and the countdown continues... I am 35 weeks with 35 days to go!! I cannot believe Izzy is going to be here so soon, time is literally flying by now!!

All is good in the world again

Thanks ladies for your lovely messages and for "getting" where I was coming from. Reading your messages made me feel less like an hormonal crazy person! I have to say that after letting things cool down over the course of the day, we made up and now we are find again. It never takes D and I long to make up but I know we both need some time out before we get back to "normal". His dad can't change his tickets as he has work commitments so we will just have to hope that Izzy will be born within that week or before if not, then he will have to wait to meet her for Christmas. I am not going to over think this, I will just let it be and concentrate on the two most amazing people of my life..

The people from the baby store came by and delivered the cot bed as agreed, they were actually early but they waited for me to get home from work. The cot bed is stunning, even better than how we remembered it and it fits just perfectly in the nursery. The mattress is bigger than your average mattress which got me worried none of our fitted sheets would fit, but they did! I was almost in tears when I put the fitted sheet and it fit, what a relief! We also received the toy chest which looks just incredible and is so much bigger than what D and I remember. It'll fit all of Izzy's toys (whenever we get around to buying any that is..) and will keep her room nice and tidy... yeah right who am I kidding here??!? We arranged it all last night and we both didn't want to go sleep in our room, we wanted to sleep in her nursery.. it's so calming and relaxing. Here are a few pics of the almost finished room:

I have also been working on my ultimate Top 10 Pregnancy songs, I have added these to YouTube but I am 3 short! If you have any suggestions.. I'd love to hear them!!

Sod's law

It's so typical of me to say how everything is great and on schedule and then the very next day I got very painful stabbing pains deep down in my "lady area". I was fine all day at work, then I after work I went into town and I started to feel a bit of preassure as I was walking around the shops but nothing major. I waited for D and we went home together and I was fine but when we got home it started and boy do they hurt. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife down there. I held my breath and instinctively put my hand down there to "protect" my parts. I tried sitting down but they kept on coming and Izzy was moving like crazy too. Then I laid down and slowly slowly they went. I drunk lots of water then went to pee and it kind of hurt when I passed urine which is weird as it never happened before. I took it easy and eventually they went. They felt more intense then last time and they lasted longer too, we are still talking about a matter of seconds but they surely did hurt. We didn't go to the hospital as they eventually went and we would have gone if they had continued but as they didn't, I didn't see the point.

Today was meant to be a happy day. D got his beloved car back after waiting for 3 weeks for the mechanics to fix it and in the afternoon we are supposed to get our much awaited cot bed and toy chest. Well instead we got into an argument over D's dad visit in October. He is a very stubborn man who makes his plans and then you are supposed to change your entire schedule around him. So D tells me his dad sent his travel details and that he has already booked his flights. He has booked them so he will arrive at 2am on the 10th of October which is my due date and leave on the 16th at another crazy hour. I went nuts. It drives me nuts how he just makes his plans and does not consult D about any of it, then makes the decision to come on the 10th assuming Izzy is already born when we all know babies come when they want to come and his ticket isn't even flexible so that he can change it should things change. Also the idea of spending 6 days at home with him and my parents and for every day for him to tell Izzy to hurry up will drive me up the walls! I can talk to my parents and tell them off when they step out of line or get on my nerves but it's different with him. I told D I couldn't handle this.. he needs to change his tickets and actually book flexible ones so should things change he can make different arrangements. I swear this man has always made selfish decisions so I don't see why the fact that his first granddaughter is close to being born should change things. He probably expects her to be born when he says so just because that's how he is used to treating everyone around him, D and his family included.

D is taking care of it but in the meantime we had a huge fight and now I am upset and know that he is upset as he hate confronting his dad and now my cramps are back. What a mess of a day.. we hadn't had a fight since I got pregnant until today.. but surely enough I knew that if we had one, it would have been over something like this. I hate feeling like so upset and wound up especially whilst at work as I cannot hide my tears and people look at me as if I have lost my mind, not that I care! I am gonna listen to my meditation and try chillax myself and Izzy who seems to know things are not good and who is moving around like a crazy child! I must try do better for her sake.. I don't want to go into premature labour over something so stupid!! So here goes.. breath in... and slowly breath out..