I am only human...

I want to say that I am only human.. I am not a robot. I too have needs and one of them has been neglected since before the ER and it seems my body misses it...

Let me explain. Our first IVF cycle went so well at the beginning, of course the ending was devastatingly painful, but the actual cycle was a bliss. I felt great throughout and we even managed to have sex before ET. This cycle, the LUCKY cycle, did not go so well and I am so thankful for that as the ending was more than we have ever wished for and more!! Every stage of the process was painful, the ER this time around was super painful and I had to be given extra dosage of anesthesia as I was waking up in the middle of it. I was in agony. I also developed OHSS and was bloated and in pain, so sex was not on my mind in between ER and ET. Then we transferred the super star embryos and we knew sex was out of the question.

Now, like I have said, I am a woman not a robot and as such as I have needs and it seems these needs emerge in my sleep. It has now happened twice. Once a day before ET and then again last night. Both times I am asleep and I am woken up by the sheer terror of what might have happened. The first time, I was in pain because of the OHSS and this morning I woke up in pain again as it seems my ovaries are still sore and delicate as my doctor warned me they would be if I got pregnant. The pain goes away within 2 minutes but during those 2 minutes I was scared of what might have happened to our babies. I stopped it turned into a full blown O, as that's when I woke up but for those two minutes in pain the worst thoughts appeared in my mind.

Now I am more relaxed as nothing seems different and I don't feel any different than I did yesterday. All is ok, thank God. But the scare of it all petrified me. The doctor has not told us not to have sex but we have refrained because we don't want to risk anything and later regret it. So we are happy to wait until the first u/s and then ask the doctor what she advises. Until then I will sleep with one eye open fearing what might body might crave subconsciously!! LOL!!!