The Big Reveal!!!

Thursday evening in our household was a very fun night!! I made D a lovely meal (our cooker is fixed!!!) of roasted potatoes, veal with lemon and herbs and a fresh salad! It was so yummy I get hungry just thinking of it (that's not really difficult these days!!). After dinner we got the phones out and we were ready to dial! First on the list were my parents but as usual when you want to reach someone they don't answer the phone. So we called my friend Michelle who lives nearby and who is on the same time zone as us!!

1. Michelle's reaction - she gave us the BESTEST of reactions!! She has been so supportive of us during our trials and tribulations with IVF and she knows how much we wanted this baby. She was screaming like I have never heard anyone scream before!!! D and I were sitting there speechless and very emotional!!
2. D called his grandma in Greece! Now I don't speak Greek, I am learning it but it's a slow progress work! Her reaction was just amazing!! She immediately sounded so Happy and ecstatic!!! It was incredible!! D lost his mom a little over 2 years ago so speaking to his grandma and his aunt is, in a way like talking to his mom. It was emotional for him.
3. Then he called his aunt as his grandma and aunt live near one another and he wanted to tell her in person. She was over the moon too and D told me that she told him how ready he is to be a dad and how great of a dad he will make.
4. As I couldn't get through to my parents, I called my brother instead. I told him that we found a great friend for our nieces and that they need to come visit us soon. He said that they make friends everywhere and not to worry. I said, that this friend is a very special kind of friend... a little cousin for them! He was screaming and kept on saying he could not believe it!! He was so happy for us. He said we waited so long for this and how much we deserve this little miracle!! It was so emotional.
5. Then D called his brother as he also could not get hold of his dad! His brother is not someone to show emotions but he sounded really happy for us and the good news.
6. Finally I was able to get through to my parents! As I wanted to I was able to tell them the story about the piece of furniture and when they opened the attachment they sounded so Happy!! My mom was screaming: "Is it real?! Is it?!?" My dad was screaming for joy! It was so emotional and I was stuck for words on several occasions!!!
7. D was then able to call his dad and he was crying of joy for us. He was so excited. He was upset we didn't tell him earlier but we told him we could not tell anyone yet! He was really really happy for us!!
8. We then went on to call friends that we want to tell now and they were all so happy for us. Most of our friends know at least a little of what we have been through and they were so happy that we finally got our wish. On Friday night I was also finally able to contact a good friend of mine in the UK and tell her about it and she said that she kind of suspected it as we were avoiding the subject about how the cycle went but at the same time I was so happy. She cannot believe she is going to be an auntie!! We have not told other people we know and we have not said anything on Facebook as we want to keep it a secret until the 3 months are up!

After all the big reveals we had enough of speaking to people on the phone and we were ready for a relaxing weekend!! We went shopping on Friday but we came back early as I was so tired and need to rest. I slept for hours that day and then had an early night as well! Yesterday was a better day and we were able to go get our outdoor table and parasol for the garden. We shopped everywhere for it and now that we have finally found it we cannot wait it use it! I also got a pair of maternity jeans with the big band, they are so comfy and I think they will become my best friends!! I also found a new pregnancy and to wear over my work trousers.. and today I really feel super comfy.

Last night it rained lots here which is unusual for the desert but it was a welcomed change as it has been so hot and humid that we needed a breath of fresh air!! I am 8 weeks today and all is great, my 2pm nausea kicks in but I find that if I don't fight it, it goes away on its own. I am constipated for my standards but I am sure that has something to do with letting go of my "pregnancy diet" at the weekend so hopefully by tomorrow things will go back to normal. Life is good!!

We saw the most amazing heart beating fast!!!

Today was the BIG day. Ultrasound day is always a big day but today's was a super important one (I am sure I will be saying this every time!!). In the last 2 weeks things could have changed and I would have not known anything. Needless to say I could not sleep properly and I was up even before my alarm went off. Taking a warm shower helped. Then I woke up D he was up in no time and he is generally not a morning person! He woke up with a big smile on his face! I watered the lawn and then we were off. This time I drunk lots of orange juice before I left so that when I have to pee in the cup it's not impossible to do and it worked. My blood pressure was good and I have gained 2kg (4.4 pounds!) When I told D he said: "is that all?" with a big grin on his face!! Considering I lose weight and not I put weight back on, all looks great. Then the Dr. S arrived and she asked me about my "visions" and I said it only happened that one (please don't happen again!!!) and that all together I am great. I have nausea in the afternoon but nothing major and that my appetite is huge!!

Then we finally( I wanted to jump on that bed straight away!!!) moved to do the ultrasound. At first all we saw was the sac and there seemed to be nothing inside of it and I started to panic, but she quickly moved the "magic wand" left and right and there it was, our miracle baby with his strong heart beating! I get goose bumps just thinking of it again. It was the most amazing image I have ever seen. Tears were streaming down my face and I had the biggest smile on! I could not stop looking at our Peanut. The doctor even described him/her as looking like a peanut and D told her that that's what we call the baby!! So cute! She measure the baby even though she said it's difficult to see what is what as it's still early days. The measurement said it was a baby of 7w1d but that is +/- 5 days so she was happy with the measurements. She spent a long time on our baby and she printed 2 pics for us as the first one had a lot of writing on it. D had the biggest smile on his face and kept on rubbing the back of my feet... It was one of those magical moments....

Dr. S then explained all the blood tests I will be doing today as part of my antenatal screening. I am trying to remember if I had the german measles... D said he had not. I go back again next week for the progesterone boost and keep taking my progesterone suppositories. Next ultrasound at 9w4d on the 11th of March! She is such a good doctor and she explains everything step by step. I am so lucky she will be able to see me through my pregnancy and deliver our baby!! I know most IVF doctors don't see their patients through and they refer them to an "ordinary gyno" so I am super blessed to have this amazing bond with her!

Tonight is the big reveal. I am sitting her and I am IM my mom and all I can think of.. they will be so happy tonight!! My mom is an optimist, when I told her we needed help conceiving she started telling me of all the people she knows who had IVF and now have babies or who adopted

and had their families this way. They both go to a special sanctuary and pray for us. It's so sweet. They don't know we did another IVF cycle in Jan so this is going to come as a huge surprise to them! They are going to be nonna and nonno (grandma and grandpa) again. They are great grandparents to my brother's daughters and they love them to bits. I cannot wait to see them with our peanut!! I am getting goosebumps again... come on day.. go by fast so that we can tell!!! I cannot believe we have been so good at keeping this a secret until now!

Here's how we are going to spill the beans!!!!

Tomorrow is finally almost here and we will see our baby again. We hope and pray all looks good and healthy and as it should be for 7weeks and 4 days. We wonder if we will hear a heartbeat or only see it on the monitor, either way it's going to be amazing to see our peanut again! Come on tomorrow, hurry up and get here already!!

DH and I went out for dinner last night as our cooker is still not connected (not impressed or happy about that!!!). Over dinner we were discussing ways in which we are going to tell our friends and families about the BIG news tomorrow after our second u/s. As we live away from our families and some of our dearest friends we will have to do most of the reveals over the phone, so we have to make this good! We have a special reveal for everyone so here they go:

1. My mum & dad - I have taken a picture of a beautiful crib saved it on my phone. I will then call them and make sure they put me on speakerphone so they both can hear me. Once I am sure of that I will tell them that we have found a one of a kind piece of furniture for our house. I'll tell them it's being custom made and will arrive in 6/7 months time and that they are making it as we speak. They will ask me what it is and I will say I don't know the name of it in Italian and that I will send them a pic of it now. I will then wait for it all to kick in.. I wonder how long it will take!!! LOL!!!


2. My brother and his family - I will tell him that our nieces have to come visit us soon as we have found a perfect little baby who is jut the most beautiful and good little baby ever, who will make a great play date for Lillianna and Ivy (my nieces). In the meantime I will send him an email with our latest u/s picture!! Then I will tell him to check his email as we took a picture of this amazing baby!! I cannot wait to hear his reaction.. he will flip out I know that!!!


3. My father in law is currently on holiday in Mexico so what we thought we would do is call him up and ask him he is carrying a lot of cash with him. He will be wondering why D is asking and then D will tell him that he will have to buy a round for everyone tonight as he is going to be a grandpa in October!!! We are going to play it safe and tell him last as he has a tendency of spilling the beans to everyone (poor D did not get a chance to tell everyone we were getting married as he told everyone first!!!)


4. D's brother - this one is going to be straight forward. D will ask him: "do you like your new nickname....Uncle Alex!"


5. Extended family - D still has his yiayia (grandma) and she has wished for us to have a baby even before we got married. She is such a sweet lady and will be just over the moon with the news. D will tell her that her wished came true and that she will be a great grandma in October. He also has an aunt and cousins and I am sure he will think of something great to tell them too. I have one aunt so I will call her and tell her if she is ready to come visit us in October as she is going to be a great aunt for the third time!


6. Friends - we have a few great friends here so we are still coming up with ways to tell each and everyone of them before they know from Facebook! To Michelle, a good friend of mine who lives nearby, I will tell that I need for us to go shopping together soon. She will get all excited and then I will tell her that I need to go as I don't fit into any of my clothes anymore.. wonder how long it takes for her to get it!! To another good friend of ours who lives away we are planning on D calling her. D always plays pranks on her so what we want to do is for him to call her and say that I have been keeping a secret from her and that he feels it's time he tells her. She will go all crazy and will want to know what this secret is.. and then he will pass over the phone and I will say: "Gotta ya! We are pregnant!!" We have a lot more people to tell before Facebook so we will be spending most of Thursday night making phone calls around the world!!

Today we got curtains for our house and they look amazing!! Walking in the baby's room feels amazing with the curtains up.. I can already see it's going to be a GREAT room! Our bedroom is chic and sophisticated and I have to admit that the curtains are really worth the price we paid for them! Truly a work of art!!! Now only need to get the cooker and washing machine hooked up to the power outlet and we are almost ready. I finished working on our kitchen last night and D worked on organising the library which now looks super organised! Big task for the weekend is our bedroom.. joy oh joy!!

Busy.. busy... but SUPER HAPPY!!

That's my life these days! We moved house at the weekend and we are now living in our lovely 3 bed house with garden. We cannot be happier. It's an amazing place and so quiet too! The only thing that wakes me up in the morning is the sound of birds!!! Only last week we were waking up to the sound of cars honking at all times of night and day and people talking on their mobiles. Now we have peace and quiet... and lovely birds!! We take turns to water the garden, so if one of us does it at night the other one gets the next morning. I have to admit that it's a pleasure to do it even before going to work. There is something relaxing about it.

Last night D surprised me with our own very first bbq! He bought two portable bbqs and got sausages and made lovely pork skewers. Getting the bbqs started was a bit of a mission but we managed in the end and the result was really yummy. We have been together for almost 10 years (it will be 10 in October.. what a great month it will be!!) and in all these years we have never had a house with a garden. We still cannot believe it’s ours to look after and enjoy!!

The house still need a lot of work. The movers put away all the big heavy furniture but we still need to put away our clothes, our books, our movies and everything else. I am currently working on the kitchen and we still need to get someone to come and install our cooker and washing machine as the movers could not do this. Tonight I have to go to our old flat and vacuum it so that D can disconnect the water and electricity and we can hand it over to the landlord. Like I have said, our life is busy these days!

Peanut is doing great, he/she really is the bestest of babies and we are so blessed. I am 7 weeks and 2 days today and feeling amazing! I have no complaints of morning sickness and I am so thankful for that. I still get really hungry at times but most of the time I am great. I do get tired quicker but that’s normal especially considering that we are in the process of moving and rearranging our house. The bump is getting bigger and most of my trousers no longer close. I wear a band but bought the small one and now it does not fit. I think this weekend I will need to go get some nice comfy trousers to wear at work and at home too. We are eagerly waiting for Thursday to see our peanut again. We hope all looks great then and that we can see and perhaps hear his/her heart beating. It will be music to our hears…. We both cannot believe how many changes our baby has been through and how many more he will go through before his due date! Life sure is amazing!

If all goes well then Thursday is the day we will have the big reveal to our families! I am still thinking of ways to tell each and every one of them but struggling to find something original. All of them are expecting for me to say that we are starting our second IVF cycle… little do they know!! All of them know how hard it’s been for us to get pregnant so I am sure they will all be so HAPPY. I get goose bumps just thinking about it… come on Thursday!!!

On another news I have become obsessed over researching online what lotions are safe for me to use and which are not and the rule of thumb is not to use any. Even the ones that seem ok are then not so ok. I use Palmers for my belly and thighs after my shower but it's my hands that concern me. I have always been allergic to cleaning products and detergents but since I got pregnant the allergy has become much worse. Up until now I used Aveeno hand cream which does not seem to have any of those nasty NO-NO ingredients but I cannot find it anymore so now I am searching for a good hand cream... if you know of any pregnancy safe brands please let me know!!!

Oh no... Evil B%*&* Laura is back!!!

At university my friends had a name for me. I am not proud of it. It used to be Evil Bitch Laura. I have never been a people's person, if I am upset with you, you will know about it. My boss is scared of me and does not speak to me until I have a smile on my face. As I have said I am not a people's person. Now over the last 10 years or so I have improved on this trait and somehow managed to control it as best as I can.. sometimes it cannot be helped.

Now the Evil Bitch is out of the cage once again. My hormones are on red hot alert and I am ready to, and I do scream at everyone who will stand in my way. So far I have frightened and upset one gardener and a bunch of security guards... and of course my long suffering husband. One minute I am happy -go-lucky-lovely-pregnant Laura the next I am screaming-angry-on the verge of crying-pregnant Laura.

This morning I woke up and had to drive all the way to our new house which is a good 30 minutes away from the city then drive back and attend a training course, then drive back to the office which is another 30 minutes away and then back and back and back!! So on my way I call our gardener to see he is going to make it there and he mumbles something about getting there for 10, I tell him in a high pitched voice that if he does not show up on time I will hire another company that will and he will lose this job. To that he replies he will be there on time. There is fog on the way so I can hardly see. Then I get there and wait for the gardener I call him at 9.30 and he says he is on his way, 5 minutes away. Ok then he calls me tells me he is at the entrance but that the security won't let him in as they don't have a letter saying they are authorised to enter the premises. I tell him to pass on the guard to whom I scream that he has no right not to let him through as he is working for him and obviously authorised. He said something about missing this letter and I scream to him that I didn't know I needed to provide a letter and that if I knew this I would have organised it. So he then carries on and I really lose it, at which points he gives in and let him in. Finally I say. I then call D to tell him of all the hassle I am going through..of course I don't tell him, I scream at him! I am all hot and sweaty and so upset with all that is going on, as if it's the end of the world!

The gardeners get all their stuff ready, I give them a copy of the key and I am off again. On my way out I stop and have a little chat with the guards. They will allow my gardener access today and tonight we will give him our letter authorising him access! I don't mind this type pf security but not when I don't know about it and it effects my precious time. I get to my boring training late and hungry.. who needs a break!!??

I have spent the rest of the day apologising to our baby for losing my cool and potentially upsetting him/her. I am now doing meditation and to balance things out.. I feel mellow, happy and hungry! Tonight after work we want to go check the progress they are making on the garden, but this time I am bringing D and sending him first. He can be my buffer so I don't end up getting into my Evil Bitch Laura mood, three times in one day is enough for me!! All I want is a bed.. I am exhausted!!!

On a brighter note, tomorrow I go in for my weekly extra progesterone shot and tomorrow marks a week till our next u/s.. I cannot even begin to explain how I am looking forward to it! All this house stuff is keeping us super busy so if next week goes as fast as this week then it'll be here before we know it!!

Silent Migraines....

Ok so today after I posted about my wonderful husband and how lucky we are recently.. I get up at work and go to the bathroom. I am peeing and I look at the floor and see from my left eye these translucent lights.. I think nothing of it as it's normal to see spots and things when getting up too quick. So I am standing in front of the mirror and see these lights and they move from in front of me to the left side of my face. When I look up they are there and then they move. Ok, this is strange. I go back to my desk and the light is getting bigger, bigger that I cannot read the words on my computer. I close my eyes and I see a bright light. Ok, this is scary. I get my phone and I go back to the toilet. I call D and tell him I am freaking out as I see bright lights. He is confused and says this is very strange even for me!! LOL He is googling this as he calms me down and says it's normal during pregnancy but to call the doctor just to make sure all ok. I tell him I am walking around and that the light is better when I walk in darker rooms and that it gets really bad in bright rooms. He tells me to sit down and call the doctor. I go back to my office, this has been about 10 minutes or so and the light is now on top of my head and I see what seems to be a fan. Then like that it just went. I call D and tell him that it went and he tells me to call the doctor anyway. A friend of mine comes in and I tell her I feel dizzy and about this lights. She takes me to a clinic we have on the site office I work at to measure my blood pressure. Of course I have to tell her that I am pregnant.. she is a good lady who has been praying for us to get pregnant so she will never tell! Anyway my bp is 90 over 60 which is low but then again I am pregnant so it's ok.

I go back to the office and call my doctor. She asks me if I got a migraine or if my belly was hurting and I say no to both. No pain in my belly, no spotting nothing of the sort.. just the bright light!?!?! She said I need to go home and rest. Drink plenty of water and just rest for the day. I tell her about my bp and she said when I went in last time it was 100 over 60 so it's ok. She told me to call her immediately if it happens again.

I drive home and I am in a daze, I left all my windows down so that I can really focus as I am feeling dizzy. Once I get home I go straight to bed and I have slept a good 4 hours and a bit. I feel much better now. I ate something more and now I am waiting for DH to pick me up to go see about our garden.

As I wait and as I can see fine, I google my symptoms and Silent Migraines pops up! It describes all I have experienced. So now I think this is what happened:

1. I am in my 6th week and a lot of changes are happening to the baby and me this week I read most people get m/s now.. I get hallucinations!?!? LOL!
2. yesterday I had a lunch with my colleagues and I ordered a sandwich was too spicy for me, I ate it but did not enjoy it;
3. I also ran around and got really upset about the water and electricity not working and people not helping;
4. we ate later than normal as we ended up running around for the water (but got it done so we were happy);
5. after the meal I literally fell asleep straight away - it was 9 pm;
6. this morning I had diarrhea and did not feel great;
7. my usual fortified breakfast tasted horrible and was a struggle to finish it;
8. the blurring started!

So from now on I need to avoid, spicy food, stressful situations that make me upset and running around too much... and hopefully the blurred vision won't come back!! (please don't ever come back.. it was scary!!)

My husband... THE MAN!!!

Yesterday was Valentine Day and we normally don't celebrate it, we might get cards and do one romantic gesture but nothing more than that.. we go out for dinner whenever we want and surprise each other whenever, we don't need a holiday to do that! So yesterday morning I left a card on the windshield of D's car... I wish I had a camera to record his reaction!!! He later told me he though he had gotten a fine!! HEHE! As I have mentioned before we are in the process of moving house, so yesterday we spent a good part of the day trying to sort out the water and electricity connection to our new house. We played good cop/bad cop with our agent and at 7pm I was at his office after work to pick up the documents we needed. D told him very bluntly that it was not fair that after we have already paid the rent that we still don't have water or electricity because our landlady has not provided us with all the necessary documents. He is so good at being to the point without getting emotional or aggressive.. he is a lawyer after all!

Now, everyone told us we will not be able to do this on our own and that we would need someone who knows someone to help get everything done. We wanted to try on our own so I went to pick up D and off we went on a mission to get water. It was 8pm on Valentines when most people are out for dinner or having a romantic night, D and I were in a small office with other couples in our situation trying to get our utilities connected. D even mentioned it to the other couples...and they nodded away! Well when it was our turn and we said we were moving to this one specific development, they all said it was difficult to get it done. So D gave all of our paperwork and the guy took one look, entered something into the system and said: "yours is fine!"We could not believe our luck... again! Within 10 minutes all was done and today we should have water and electricity.. lady luck has turned for us and we cannot believe it! You have to understand that in the last 2 years we have lived through some really terrible experience all at once plus some really bad luck thrown in there for good measure so for things to go according to plan is not something we are used to...

The one main constant that has always been unchanged is the love we have for one another. Even when things looked the bleakest and there was no hope in sight, we knew that as long as we were together all will be ok. We knew that we could rely on one another no matter what and that the other person would always be there to help the other one to get up and carry on... We are truly blessed in this and I will never take this for granted!!

In other news... our baby is now 6weeks and 1 day... this week the baby will undergo major developments including the nose, the mouth and ears will begin to form! His/her heart is beating from between 100 to 160 times a minute and blood is beginning to run through his/her body! He/she is the size of a chickpea.. how cute!!! Only 9 days until we see the baby again, last night I had a dream that we went for the u/s and we saw and heard the baby's heart beating! It was an amazing dream, one I hope we will get to experience for real next week!

One amazing Show and Tell!!!

I heard about Mel's Show and Tell but never participated. Well today I have one Amazing Show and Tell for you all. The above is the most amazingly wonderful baby in the world and he/she is ours!!

We went for our first antenatal visit and it felt great to go in as that and not for IVF related exams. We arrived and the nurse said that as I am an antenatal patient I need to go and pee in a cup and that I will do that every time I come for a visit. OK, that is interesting! Wonder why they do that? I forgot to ask. Then they took my weight (I lost 2 kg!! how did that happen?!?) and my blood pressure which is good! Then our miracle doctor, also known as Dr.S showed up. She told me that today we would look for a yolk sack and nothing more. She said that she likes to think of it as seen an engagement ring, just a single band with nothing more. In 2 weeks time we will be able to see a solitaire, she said to think of it as the most amazing and most valuable solitaire we have ever seen, So cute. I then got ready and she proceeded with the u/s and there in no time we saw the baby.. OUR BABY! We looked for a second one but no, there was only one. We were so thrilled to see that all is looking great and that everything is proceeding as it should be. She said my ovaries are still enlarged because of the IVF hormones but all is looking GREAT.

I got dressed and then she calculated when we would see each other next (25th of Feb) and then we asked about the progesterone and she said to keep taking the cyclogest and to keep going in once a week for my extra progesterone shot. Before we left I asked what our due date would be, I said we calculated it would be the 9th but she took out her calendar and said our Due Date is the 10/10/2010! How amazing is this for a birthday! Of course she said that sometimes babies come earlier and sometimes later so that it might not be this exact date. We shall wait and see. She also said to refrain from super active sexual intercourse as our pregnancy is still considered high risk due to IVF. We don't mind waiting and if we feel like it we can try super gentle sex... oh God!! LOL!!

There are no words to describe what is going through my mind and body today.. it's as if I had a chance to look into something that up until now was only in my mind.. It was the most sub real experience of my life and I will never stop being thankful for this wonderful miracle we were granted. Thank you God for listening to our prayers. The other baby did not make it but he/she will never be forgotten. I think the best way to look at this, is to think that it was meant to be just one for us... we have control over so little and this was not in our hands to decide. It was the way it was destined to be and we are thankful and feel so blessed for this.

it's all a waiting game....

Today is the day before tomorrow. Tomorrow is THE DAY that our lives will change forever. I hope and pray that all is OK with our babies. Today might be the last time I get the chance to say babies, tomorrow there might be only one baby on the screen I will thank God for that one amazing baby, because I know he is a miracle. Part of me has grown so attached to both Jammy and Lucky that I pray that both our babies made it. I am not sitting here asking for twins, I know I am so blessed to be pregnant at all, but I have seen both my babies being conceived and then both of them being inserted back in my uterus and it was the most amazing experience of my life seen these two beams of light being inserted in me. When I pray I pray for both, when I meditate I visualise both. I suppose it's different for moms who have not done IVF so I don't expect people to "get" this but it's jut how I feel. I already mourned the loss of 6 perfectly healthy embryos who were destroyed because of unjust and cruel legislation, so I hope both our super star blasts made it.

I have had two bad night sleeps in a row. I just cannot settle. I toss and turn and toss and turn. I think part of it has to do with the fact I cannot stop thinking about tomorrow, but it also has to do with my body changing at a super fast speed. I'll give it time and I am sure things will fall into its place soon.

I have made two changes in my life already and I am only 5weeks and 4 days. First MAJOR change for me is going from wearing thongs to wearing full coverage panties!! I was reading Jenny McCarthy's book Belly Laughs and in one of the earlier chapters she refers to a similar experience and how we should prepare for this change. I was reading this and thinking: "get real, I am not going to fall into that category!". Well weeks and weeks of progesterone suppositories and pantyliner will make you change your mind!! So this weekend I went and purchased some normal panties... I got cute ones so I don't feel too bad wearing them but I have to say I don't know if I'll stick to them... only time will tell! Perhaps I should take advantage of being able to wear my thongs for now and then switch once I am too big for them. I'll update you on this saga. The second change is my belly button stud. I have always had the same one that I take out and clean but it's always the same. D got me it for our first Christmas together and it's my favourite. It's a purple heart with a little pendant attached to it. Over the last weeks my belly has grown and the pendant would get stuck in between my belly button and it's fold. Yesterday I received my new maternity belly rings. They are so cute and flexible but they are way too big for me to wear now. So I looked everywhere for my other belly rings. I found one that fits prefect and it's longer than my favourite so it fits just right.

I cannot wait to publish our baby(ies)'s first picture tomorrow!!!

Beautiful Blogger Award

Thank you Emily for this wonderful award. I feel really blessed and fortunate that you picked me for this!! Thank you sweetie for being so supportive and I could not think of a better person to go through the next 9 months with!!

The instructions that go along with this award are as follows:
•Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
•Copy the award and place it in your blog
•Link the person who nominated you for this award.
•Tell us 7 interesting things about you
•Nominate 7 bloggers
•Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.

Here are 7 interesting things about me:

1. I am Italian but have only lived there until the age of 16. After that I moved to the UK and lived there fore 10 years. Now and for the last 5 years I have lived in the Middle East, Abu Dhabi in particular. I still speak Italian of course if only to my family.
2. I met D when I was 20 and he was 19 (yes, he is a year younger than me!) when we were both studying Law at the University of Kent and I knew straight away I wanted to have his babies one day. We didn't know each other during our first year mainly because D was too much of a party animal and never showed up for classes!
3. I had my belly button pierced at the age of 17 and didn't tell my parents until they found it! I also got my tongue pierced but removed it after 3 months as it was too much of a hassle. I don't regret either and I have already bought pregnancy piercings for my belly!
4. I was an air force kid, my dad was an air force pilot, so moved from airbase to airbase and never really had a home anywhere. D also lived everywhere as his dad is a diplomat. He has lived on every continent except Asia! Our dream is to buy a house for our children to grow up in and for them to know at 20 their primary school buddies.
5. I suffered from Bulimia from the age of 17 until the age of 27. D was my rock through this and always respected the fact that I had no control over this horrible disorder. The idea of starting a family and being healthy for my children first was what helped me in my recovery. I have been Bulimia free for 2 and half years and I have never felt better in my life.
6. I am not a girly girl. I don't have girlfriends that I hang out with. I have very few true friends but the ones that I do are my friends for life. I know I can rely on them 100% and love them as if they are my family. When I trust someone I trust them 100%.
7. I have a lot of gray hair. We have been through a lot of stress over the last 3 years or so and since all this stress and heartache started my hair started going gray. I dye it normally but will not be able to now that I am pregnant and I am scared that by the time I deliver I will look like an old lady. People will say... "bless her she wanted a baby so much but in the end she got it... shame she had to wait until her 50s"! LOL

To return the favor, I nominate the following bloggers:

1. Naomi from 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility because, even at my lowest, she has given me many reasons to laugh at Infertility and for her positive outlook on being "Infertile"! You rock girl!!
2. Christa from Fearlessly Infertile, she really is like the character on her blog... a superhero!We both experienced the joy of Short Flare Protocols and she has been of great support to me in the last couple of months. I cannot wait for your beta girl!!!
3. Mom Gene from Finding My Mom Genes, she has been so supportive of my cycle and has been one of the first to congratulate me on my BFP. She is going through some tough time and I hope to cheer her up a little with this award and let her know she is not alone in this!
4. Buy Your Own Bean? because she was sprinting to the toilet at the same time I was and we both got BFP around the same time!! I cannot wait for you next u/s!!
5. Yummy Lolly because she created beautiful blogger designs for all of us to use and because she shares them with the rest of the world... she brought happiness and joy to my blog!! Thank you!

I only have 5 as the other Bloggers I read have all won awards before so I don't know if that is allowed to do!!

blissfully blessed....

Today I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Part of me cannot believe I am pregnant. Maybe it's the fact that I have not told anyone yet or because I have wanted this for so long that now it's really happening it does not feel real. The physical changes help in reminding me that I am indeed pregnant and yet it's so easy for me to believe it's all a wonderful dream. I wonder when if ever am going to stop checking when I wipe, or check that my boobs are still sore and worry every time I feel a twinge in my lower belly. I admitted this to D and he said, well the fact that you are not getting a period anymore should give you enough proof that you are PREGNANT! That is true, when my period was due I waited and waited and every time I went to the toilet I would that she would not show. My prayers were answered and I suppose it's true what they say, your period being late is the biggest sign of pregnancy!

We are moving home! We have been in the same apartment block in the middle of the city for a 3 years now and we have been looking to move for as long as we can remember. Last weekend we went to look at this new development which is in a gated community and it's all villas. The feel of the place is amazing, it's all families with children and everyone seemed so eager to make friends and form a community. I cannot believe we got so lucky to find such a place. We will finalise everything by Thursday which is also a good sign of things to come as it's our ultra sound day!!! Now we just need to organise the move and off we are off to a brand new start!! So excited!!

I don't know if it's me or the hormones but nowadays whenever I get good news or something exciting happens and likewise when I am faced with a slightly tough situation I get super emotional. So today I was picking up our new credit cards and cheque books at Aramex and the guy behind the counter could not find my order. The look on my face must have worried him enough to say: "No need to panic, it's all going to be OK and we'll find all that you are looking for". I was taken aback as I felt I reacted normally but obviously I must have over reacted! Got to love pregnancy hormones!!!

5 weeks pregnant... the joy of maternity shopping...

Today we are 5 weeks pregnant, it feels like yesterday this miracle started and every day we feel more and more blessed to be experiencing all of this. My belly is growing and I am feeling great overall. I am getting used to my boobs being so big and lumpy and they don't really bother me until I have to sleep. Even then I have found a way for them not to bother me, it includes me lying on my side with a pillow in between my legs. The new symptom that has appeared with the vengeance is this constant feeling of warmth. Now I have always been freezing cold, winter, summer anytime of the year i am cold. My hands, my feet, cold all over and it gets hot here in the summer.. we live in the desert and yet I am cold. Well that is gone and has now been replaced by incredible warmth. If one moment I am perfectly fine the next minute I am boiling but I am mainly hot. D thinks it's crazy how from day to the next my body has changed so much.

I have been complaining all week about how my bras are getting tighter by the day and how I need a new maternity bra. So today we went maternity bra shopping. I have no idea what to look for what to buy and so I got a size bigger than the one I am currently wearing now and hoped it would have fit fine. They had no changing rooms so I had to buy them and try them at home. One thing I have to say about maternity bra is how HUGE they are. I mean I am really not used to that much fabric... it seems impossible that we need all of that fabric! LOL When I got home and tried them on they fit but they make my boobs look very big indeed and they also look really far apart... if the other bras bring you breasts together the maternity bras go for comfort! I am not complaining! I wish I could go to a store where they can measure my bust size and give me the exact bra size. I'll need to shop around for such a store!

I then went into my favourite mom and baby store, it's called Mamas & Papas and I love it!!! Whenever I go to this particular mall I go into the store, most days I HATE going in there as it was just a cruel reminder of something I could not have. During the good days, I would look at all the prams and carrycots and baby clothes and dream of the day I would be going in there with D to shop for our baby. Well today the day has come and it felt like a dream come true. They had no maternity bras but they had tops and jeans and skirts... I have always loved going into this stores but now that I am pregnant it feels like I belonged there. For once I was shopping for myself not for a friend or a relative and the feeling was so intense I almost burst into tears. Part of me expected a curtain to be lifted at any moment and Ashton Kutcher to come out and say.. "Laura you have been punked"!!! I swear part of me could not believe I belonged there, that I was buying clothes because I needed them not because I was fantasizing of being pregnant. I bought two cute tops that my little belly is going to grow nicely into.. I cannot wait!!

Another GREAT thing happened today, we finally found the house we would like to move into! We have lived in the same house for almost four years and it's an apartment in a block of flats. It's nice but the neighbourhood is not the best and parking is such a BIG issue, the neighbours are not the best either and they are mainly labour works living many in one apartment... it's really not ideal and we have had enough now. We have looked out for affordable houses withing our city and finally D found this amazing new development. It's a little bit out of the city about 30 minutes but closer to my office (10 minutes drive!). D will have a longer drive but it's a nice drive with little traffic. The villa is amazing, it has 3 bedrooms and a study, one balcony, one terrace on the top floor and a large garden. We are thrilled to have found it and at such a reasonable price too. We thought we would have had to move out of the city but instead we get to stay here and have a better standard of living. The neighbours look like young families too and everyone said hello as we walked by.. it made us feel right at home. Next step is giving notice to our current landlord and then we are good to go!!!

We feel so blessed...

I am only human...

I want to say that I am only human.. I am not a robot. I too have needs and one of them has been neglected since before the ER and it seems my body misses it...

Let me explain. Our first IVF cycle went so well at the beginning, of course the ending was devastatingly painful, but the actual cycle was a bliss. I felt great throughout and we even managed to have sex before ET. This cycle, the LUCKY cycle, did not go so well and I am so thankful for that as the ending was more than we have ever wished for and more!! Every stage of the process was painful, the ER this time around was super painful and I had to be given extra dosage of anesthesia as I was waking up in the middle of it. I was in agony. I also developed OHSS and was bloated and in pain, so sex was not on my mind in between ER and ET. Then we transferred the super star embryos and we knew sex was out of the question.

Now, like I have said, I am a woman not a robot and as such as I have needs and it seems these needs emerge in my sleep. It has now happened twice. Once a day before ET and then again last night. Both times I am asleep and I am woken up by the sheer terror of what might have happened. The first time, I was in pain because of the OHSS and this morning I woke up in pain again as it seems my ovaries are still sore and delicate as my doctor warned me they would be if I got pregnant. The pain goes away within 2 minutes but during those 2 minutes I was scared of what might have happened to our babies. I stopped it turned into a full blown O, as that's when I woke up but for those two minutes in pain the worst thoughts appeared in my mind.

Now I am more relaxed as nothing seems different and I don't feel any different than I did yesterday. All is ok, thank God. But the scare of it all petrified me. The doctor has not told us not to have sex but we have refrained because we don't want to risk anything and later regret it. So we are happy to wait until the first u/s and then ask the doctor what she advises. Until then I will sleep with one eye open fearing what might body might crave subconsciously!! LOL!!!

I love this new look!!!

As things progress I felt my blog needed an extra kick to bring it up to the level of happiness I am feeling these days. This design suits my mood best. Thank you Yummy Lolly http://www.yummylolly.com/for this wonderful design and for sharing it with the world and me for free! It adds that extra happiness and joy my blog was missing!!

Of course I am new at this new blogging business, so I have now lost my IVF time lines. I will need to go into my IVF diary and retype it all tonight. Thank God I have my IVF diary. This is one thing I would advise every women embarking on IVF to purchase. It's not a special diary in any way it can be any diary that you fancy. I bought a purple one and a special purple pen to go with it. I brought my diary with me to every appointment and always made sure I wrote down all the new information I was being provided. I don't know if this applies to everyone but I have a tendency to switch off when important medical information is being communicated to me. Normally D would be with me at the appointments and he would absorb all the info like a sponge! Sometimes I had to go on my own and here is where the diary really came in handy!! I would write the meds I needed to take, the time, how many follicles we had on each side and all the other very important information. Now that I pregnant I will keep the diary with me for all the "pregnancy information" I am now supposed to remember. Beta numbers, u/s appointments, progesterone shots appointments... you get the picture.

One thing I will not put in my diary is the amount of food the baby(ies) are making me eat these days!! I give you an example of what I ate yesterday and you tell me if I am exaggerating:

1. bowl of Fruit & Fiber cereals with low fat milk;


2. 1 big bowl of mixed berries;


3. 2 tomatoes, lettuce and cheese sandwiches on wholemeal bread;


4. 1 yogurt;


5. 2 cereal bars;


6. 2 bowls of noodles with beef, broccoli and carrots.

Now for me this is a lot of food. I am used to eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now my body asks for all the extra snacks as well. I do eat food that is wholesome and healthy so that the baby(ies) get the most out of the nutrients I eat. Now I am sitting here, an hour after having eaten a huge bowl of wholemeal pasta and tomato sauce, hungry! I mean really hungry... enough hungry that I need to stop writing and go get myself a yogurt... I am not sure if this is normal this early, the way I see it is that our baby(ies) need all the extra energy to grow and mature so I am more than happy to eat as much as they need me to!!

This really makes me wonder if we really have 2 babies in there, whether both Jammy and Lucky made it through the implantation process. D told me he had a dream of us having breakfast with two cute little blond boys. When I do my newly acquired pregnancy meditation, I visualise two babies... Only time will tell, we have 8 days to go until we find out!!!

4weeks 2 days pregnant - Our baby is now called an Embryo

I still cannot truly believe I am pregnant. I mean after you wait for so long to feel something as magical as this, when you actually feel it you cannot believe it's happening. I wake up every morning and thank God for this wonderful gift he has granted us. I rub my belly throughout the day and its warmth and fullness helps reminding me that I am indeed pregnant! I walk around with a new found peace in a way as if all in the world is good again. I have also developed an innate protection towards my baby(ies). Yesterday I had to go on a site visit at work and the guy giving us the briefing was talking about possible injuries and accidents. I was in a panic by the time we got to the site. I was very careful not to step on cables or be near sharp edges and followed our guide with intense dedication. The guide actually suggested we go up one of the towers which is still under construction and I refused, there was no way I would subject my babies to more harm. I was glad when the whole thing was over.

Symptoms wise I am doing ok. The major ones that have appeared so far are:

1. heartburn;
   
2. gas in my belly;


3. sleepiness (it comes over you when you least expect it);


4. fullness/bloating in my belly;


5. sore, warm, veiny boobs;


6. nipples are getting slightly bigger and darker;


7. thirst is my new best friend - I have never drunk so much water in my life;


8. peeing every half hour (due to the fact that I am drinking so much!);


9. hunger - I wake up hungry and go to bed hungry - I am eating a lot more and yet the hunger is still there.

The best thing is that I love each and every symptoms because unlike all these previous years, these signs are REAL PREGNANCY SIGNS!!! I can now tell the difference.. I always thought my boobs would get bigger before AF.. well now I know what big boobs look like!! D loves them!! LOL

Life is amazing knowing there is one or possibly two lives growing inside of me. I feel so blessed and so truly happy. We have decided not to tell our families or friends until we are 9 weeks unless the doctor says it's better to wait until we are 12 weeks. We know what statistics say so we know that there are still risks and our families cannot cope with getting such amazing news and then being crushed in case something happens (please God protect our baby(ies). So we figure it's better to wait a while longer. Plus we want to be able to tell them how many babies we are having and that all is ok. This gives us another 4 weeks to come up with really great ways of telling our families and friends!! I will post a few ideas as they come to me!