Last post of 2009

2009 is coming to an end and 2010 is just around the corner.. I am relived to see this year go. It has been a difficult year for us. Trying to conceive is not joke when it's not happening! We started the year thinking that it could still happen on it's own and then in April we discovered that it would not and that we would need IVF in order to have our family. Discovering this was heartbreaking and so scary as IVF and ART in general are not subjects you approach unless you have to..

I have to admit that we were lucky this year to have found a GREAT doctor who treats us with like human beings not like bank accounts. She always takes time with us and explains every step of the way so that we don't feel overwhelmed with all the information we are given.

We are also blessed to have one another to support each other through this process and to encourage each other along the way. Even if the process is tough it never feels that way because once we go home and we have each other, all is ok again. It's not something I take for granted, I know how lucky I am and I thank my lucky start for having D in my life!!!

Today I take my last BCP and I rejoice for that too... I swear BCPs are worse than IVF. The hormones have given me headaches, made me feel dizzy on occasions, have caused spots on my face and made me feel horrible in general.. good riddance to the Pill!! From tomorrow I will be on AF alert and as soon as she shows I will be ready to start the injections again! I cannot say I am as excited as I was for cycle number 1 but I am getting there. The main difference with this cycle is the knowledge of the heartbreak and pain that IVF failure can cause and that scares me so much. This time around I am not going to wait to test at the doc's office. Yesterday I went online and bought lots of cheap tests and two first response for the last two days.. I will test as soon as possible! I remember reading a plan on how/when to test so I will find it and post the link! I will go on POAS marathon!!

It's silly of me to write what I am looking forward to in the New Year because we all know there is only one thing I yearn for and desire more than anything in the world...! Please 2010 bring us our miracle....